NOTE: Mad Man Dan's review of HOWLING III covers the Region 4 version of the disc. Special features might vary in other regions.

HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS

Directed by: Philippe Mora
Starring: Barry Otto, Imogen Annesley, Leigh Biolos, Ralph Cotterill
Reason for existing: TBA

AUSTRALIA… home of many things: beautiful beaches, cricket, barbequed shrimp, a sandwich spread made from the same stuff as beer, not to mention a strange and still unexplained tendency to put eggs atop anything remotely edible. Oh and it’s also the birthplace of one of the undisputed kings of so incredibly bad that it borders on sense numbing, brain damaging, seizure inducing idiocy… no, scratch that. This thing crossed that threshold long ago. It’s nasty, it’s putrid, it’s rather hilarious, it has an odd odor to it that’s kind of like that time you opened your cupboard and found that dead rat in there. It’s Howling III: The Marsupials.

Let me preface by saying, this is a werewolf…

And this is a marsupial...

I hadn’t seen THE MARSUPIALS in a long while, and I suspect that was my subconscious trying to protect me from all memory of it. But during a conversation with Fasso, he brought up the flick and decided that it needed a revisiting, and who better then a Down Under native to do it. “What the hell,” I thought; it wasn’t THAT bad… was it?

Yes Dan, yes. It was that freakin’ bad.

So if you didn’t already know, there’s werewolves living throughout the great Down Under. Oh and in Russia, of course, but that doesn’t come into play until late. Jerboa (played by the rather gorgeous Imogen Annesley) lives with her family somewhere in Australia, and she too is a werewolf and a much sought after piece of were-arse apparently but Jerboa ain’t serving, so she decides to make a run for it. She winds up falling asleep on a park bench in the middle of Sydney, only to wake up to the sight of some guy later identified as Donny, who spots her from a mile away, leaps out of his car and proceeds to chase her half way across the park and corner the frightened girl.
Turns out the over enthusiastic bastard is working on a movie called Shape Shifters: Part 8 (a title almost as inspired as HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS) and despite having only just met the rough looking bush girl, lying barefoot on a park bench in the middle of a rather scrupulous city, he believes her to be the perfect person to play the films lead. Yeah, because the “I’m going to rape you” approach works every time!

Despite only knowing each other for only a day or two, Jerboa and Donny fall in love and bump uglies one insanely hot night (seriously, nobody should sweat THAT much, not even during sex). A bigger mystery than Donny’s amazing sweat glands is: How, during his passionate night of oblivious interspecies love making, did he not notice Jerboa’s strangely hairy stomach or for that matter HER FREAKIN’ POUCH!!!! That’s right kiddies, the weregirl has an actual pouch.

Jerboa gets pregnant and ends up giving birth to a baby werewolf, which is brought to life by dressing a mouse up in a full body baby wolf costume (I kid you not!).
With her wolfy nature made public, she becomes the target of a bunch of military types and – with the help of her three werewolf sisters disguised as nuns – goes on the run with Donny and old mate Professor Beckmeyer, the typical crackpot-theory-believing type who has dedicated his life to the discover of werewolf existence.

Oh, and at some point, there was a Russian werewolf ballerina named Olga. Yeah, can’t forget her. She transforms into a werewolf mid-twirl and gets all gushy over the ol’ prof.

If there is one foreshadowing of just what type of film THE MARSUPIALS would turn out to be, it’s that the filmmakers actually named the Jerboa’s village FLOW. It’s called FLOW as in WOLF spelt backwards…NILBOG anybody? That’s right THE MARSUPIALS is the Australian TROLL II. It’s just that bad, and yet has enough B-Movie charm to it to entertain you, even if it is that “dirty little black book” mistress you keep secret from family and friends. I mean for Christ sakes, she has a freakin’ pouch!

But honestly, how did THE HOWLING, a genuinely awesome movie, end up here, left to rot beneath the Australian sun and layered with slices of process celluloidic crap!? I think where THE MARSUPIALS ultimately failed as a film was that it just wasn’t a werewolf film. Director Philippe Mora was trying too hard to say too much in too little a time. That said the thing is Schlocktastic with a capital “CRAP;” whether the filmmakers were trying to make it that way or not, the film never seemed to take itself too seriously. When you have a dancing werewolf, a trashy film within an even trashier film you were already watching, and more absurd twists and turns then an M. Night Shyamalamadingdong movie, how could you take any of it seriously? Not to mention… she has a POUCH! An actual pouch!! Is that not the most absurdly hilarious notion, concept, thought, idea or image you have ever come across? Most people consider The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf to be the better of the two super schlocky entries in the condemned series but too all them I say: NO WAY! Let’s see your she-were-bitch take on Olga the flying ballerina wolf!!

If you like you’re werewof movies dripping in cheese and good old fashion what-the-Hellery, then look no further then HOWLING III; THE MARSUPIALS…Coming to a $2 bin near you. – Danny

Editor’s Note: I don’t know if the Region 4 disc includes it, but the Region 1 has a commentary track by Mora that absolutely has to be heard to be believed! Mora seems to think he’s a legitimate filmmaker... which he’s not, the same conclusion you should reach if you’re watching HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS! Listen to this only if you want to enhance the cheese of the movie itself, as Danny suggested! Oh, and $2 might be much, as Amazon currently has it listed as cheap as 62 cents American.

--Phil Fasso

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Posted by fasso at 07:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

THE CRAZIES

Between NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and his next zombie film, DAWN OF THE DEAD, George Romero’s career followed a frustrating path. NIGHT was a critical and financial success that would one day be considered a classic. His next three films, however, were not greatly lauded and, for various reasons including poor distribution, went largely unseen by his fans. The third of these was THE CRAZIES, and though it has the name value of neither NIGHT or DAWN, it is one of Romero’s best.

The film starts off with two children in their pajamas who find their father destroying the house. He’s already killed their mother, and soon sets the house ablaze. As the film progresses, the audience discovers that the military has accidentally infected the water in Evans City, Pennsylvania, and its citizens are going quickly insane. The story then follows five uninfected people who try to escape not only the crazies, but the soldiers as well.

Thematically and structurally, THE CRAZIES strongly resembles NIGHT: survivors from a plague hole up to escape once-normal citizens who now offer threat; the authorities botch their handling of the situation, and offer little protection to those they’re upheld to protect; and in the absence of sound-minded authority, society goes screaming into total chaos. (During the film’s commentary, Romero even draws attention to the opening of the film, in which a brother and sister are in a normal situation that goes suddenly awry) The films are so close, in fact, that THE CRAZIES acts as a perfect if unofficial bridge between NIGHT and DAWN. If there’s one difference here, it’s the focus of the commentary. Romero’s key note comes in the question, Who is really crazy, the unbalanced masses, or the destructive military? The crazies may lack sanity, but the powers that be, as represented in the film, lack conscience and soul.

Romero’s greatest tool to propel that social commentary is his visual palette. No longer restrained by black and white, the director presents a world colored by the lush, green forests of Evans City and the blood red of those mowed down. The omnipresent white-suited soldiers with their black masks and assault rifles are like angels gone wrong. Romero’s burgeoning editing is also on hand here, favoring quick cuts over lots of camera movement. The plot is often disturbing, making the film hard to watch at times, but that only makes it more potent; because the movie’s subjects are not zombies but people, it’s a frightening prospect that this could actually happen.

If I have one criticism, it’s one I have with many of Romero’s films: the performances. Shouting often replaces nuance, and scenery seems to exist solely for actors to chew. I understand that in crisis, people would likely take to arguing, but Romero far too often lets his actors engage in unparalleled histrionics (think Joe Pilato in DAY OF THE DEAD). But Romero is such a craftsman that I can forgive him. And THE CRAZIES offers an early glimpse at DAY’s Dr. Logan himself, Richard Liberty, who plays unhinged with the best of them.
Blue Underground hinged together a nice package of extras for the DVD, the first and best of which is a commentary with George Romero. The company’s head and fellow filmmaker himself, William Lustig conducts the discussion, and it’s a great one. The two cover all sorts of background material, the plot and how the film influenced Dustin Hoffman’s film OUTBREAK, while putting on a school for low budget filmmakers. I generally love Romero’s commentary, but I find that sometimes he plays down to his company; here that’s not a fear, as Lustig, who also started out directing on meager budgets, keeps him on his toes. This may be the best commentary Romero has ever done.

The other main feature is “The Cult Film Legacy of Lynn Lowry,” a 14 minute discussion with her about her career. Lowry is, to be polite, quite a character, and her film career is a series of oddities during which she acted for both Romero and David Cronenberg. And you even get footage of her lounge act toward the end! You have to see this one. Two theatrical trailers and a pair of degraded TV spots that are a little more tame do a great job at presenting the film’s crazy microcosm, and a robust stills gallery and bio of Romero round out a deep, high quality set of special features.

THE CRAZIES came out in 1973, five years after NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and five before DAWN OF THE DEAD. Though not many people saw it then, it’s a crucial tie between the two that also stands alone as one of Romero’s best. Essential viewing.

--Phil Fasso

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Posted by fasso at 03:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

TRICK ‘R TREAT

For the many of you who watch John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN with reverence on its titular holiday, you’re going to have a new companion piece for years to come. Yes, TRICK R TREAT is that good, and while it will never replace Carpenter’s film, you’ll have a wonderful double feature to go with your Halloween candy.

You may already know that Michael Dougherty’s project was shelved for more than two years. There’s speculation as to why, but I can say this: it certainly was not based on the quality of the film. TRICK ‘R TREAT tells a set of interweaving stories set in small town Ohio. It starts off with a couple heading home to some horrific results, and never lets up from there. You’ll find homicidal neighbors, werewolves, a busload of special needs ghouls and the movie’s mascot, Sam. Unlike CREEPSHOW, characters cross over from one tale to the next, creating a uniformity of story, and an effect much like that of PULP FICTION, with a touch of the old Amicus stories. Like Romero’s work, the movie revels in being gleefully creepy, in the vein of VAULT OF HORROR or ASYLUM, with Sam serving as a silent Cryptkeeper.

This is a stylish movie, both in performances and settings. Dylan Baker is pitch perfect as an odd school principal, humorously channeling the ghost of Paul Lynde (of course, this may be because we watched this immediately immediately following the PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL); Brian Cox is inspired as his curmudgeonly neighbor, and several others round out the cast with above average performances. For a movie that relies on a creepy atmosphere, the set pieces are beautiful. A spooky bog and a woodlands party both sport lush cinematography and genuine ambience. Clearly Dougherty, for a first time director, knows how to create an old Universal rolling fog with the best of them. TRICK ‘R TREAT relies little on CG, and a lot on old fashioned atmosphere.

Sadly, the DVD itself offers little in the way of extras. Dougherty’s Halloween-inspired cartoon is here; it’s a witty little piece, even if I guessed the payoff. The cartoon gets a commentary by Dougherty, which includes a nifty tidbit about his blood. But the feature itself gets no commentary, and this is criminal, as I really would have enjoyed listening to the director discuss his labor of love at length. Folks, you don’t even get a trailer on this one. A shame.

What’s no shame for the end of this month is that you can finally add a new film to your Halloween viewing, and a high quality one at that. You now may be speaking the name “Dougherty” right next to “Carpenter” every October.

-- Phil Fasso and Mike Cucinotta

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Posted by fasso at 11:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)