ZOMBIE STRIPPERS

Back in my early 20s, when I was delving into world literature at Stony Brook University, my cousin Laurie Foos turned me onto absurdist literature. Around that time, she had just published her own novel, an absurdist piece called Ex Utero that became a well-received first effort. Leaning on her expertise, I took her advice and picked up The Rhinoceros, an early 20th century play written by Ionesco. In its bizarre way, it comments on how people embrace or resist change in a world in which chaos has swept away all logic, as the residents of a French town inexplicably turn into rhinos.

About now, I’m sure you’re asking me, “It’s great and all that you read some pretentious French play that’s older than my great-grandmother, but what the Hell does that have to do with naked hotties eating people, Phil?” You can blame writer/director Jay Lee and Lee’s wife/producer Angela, who have the unmitigated gall to foist Zombie Strippers on its most likely unaware audience the premise that the film is based on The Rhinoceros. The actors and filmmakers try to further this myth in the extras, but its claims to this lineage couldn’t be more ridiculous.

I reviewed Zombie Strippers in a First Look when it previewed in New York, and all I said then still applies. It still plays as two different movies, and would have fared much better if it had dropped all the forced philosophical fare and just aimed at being a dumb yet fun shoot ‘em up. But watching it in 2009, I have one extra problem with it; after the first 100 days of President Obama, all the political satire falls terribly flat. Political in jokes only work if they’re timely, so potshots at the Bush administration and Haliburton don’t resonate at all. As for the zombies, the makeup effects fare much better than they do on many low budget undead films, but the siege scene in the film’s first act is run of the mill, as are many of the attack scenes that follow. The scenes with the dancers themselves work best, because they distinguish Zombie Strippers from every other zombie film I’ve ever seen. Most impressive (I missed this during my initial viewing), the cinematography and editing are high end, and mask the fact that the film is a low budget affair. But nice camera work and cutting cannot save a bad film. And a bad film it is.

Zombie Strippers boasts an assortment of extras, starting with a commercial for Sony Blu-Ray discs; seeing Spider Man appear on this DVD is beyond bizarre. Perhaps Marvel Comics will have him visit an undead titty bar in his fourth blockbuster. “The Champagne Room: Behind the Scenes of Zombie Strippers” runs 7 minutes, and acts as a typical making-of featurette; the cast and crew all involve themselves in happy talk that make it sound as if the movie and all parties involved are groundbreaking and brilliant. “The Designing Room: How to Glam a Zombie” runs 4 minutes and offers a brief look at the special effects makeup with effects artist Patrick Magee; surprisingly, it shows very little of Magee at work. This is a shame, because his stuff in the film is impressive.

There are also 37 minutes of deleted scenes, with optional commentary by the director and Englund. The film is about 20 minutes too long as it stands, so an extra half hour plus would’ve made for an excruciating experience. Legal Affairs wouldn’t let Lee use the name “Haliburton,” but amazingly, across the disc he manages to mention the company ad nauseam, as he does here. He also mentions the connection to Rhinoceros during the elongated strippers’ introduction, as he explains the character Sox represents Ionesco’s Logician, but I still do not buy it. I came away from the scenes with the knowledge that Robert Englund is a very intelligent, well spoken man, who understands a lot about characterization and plotting.

The final extra is the commentary, which features director Lee and stars Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund and Joey Medina. Ironically, the commentary spends much time discussing things other than Ionesco; instead it focuses largely on the nuts and bolts of production and acting technique. Englund’s intellect balances off Jameson’s lack thereof; every time she opens her mouth, she solidifies every single stereotype ever leveled at strippers and porn stars. It’s a good chat, but if Lee is going to boast about the connection to Rhinoceros all over this disc, this would have been the forum to elaborate. In failing to do so, he disappoints. But as Medina asserts, most people who love zombies and strippers could care less about commentaries.

After a second pass, I still cannot recommend Zombie Strippers. It’s good for a few laughs and has some quality gore, but it’s disjointed and runs too long. An assortment of extras do nothing to improve the film, and several claims to inspiration from Ionesco fall short. If you want to invest four hours of time in quality entertainment, read The Rhinoceros. It doesn’t sport any reanimated corpses or boobies, but it sets an absurdist standard that Lee’s zombie flick does not even close to approach.

--Phil Fasso