Howard the Duck


Without risk, life is not worth living. So I’m risking any and all credibility I’ve built as a reviewer with the following statement: Howard the Duck is a brilliant movie.


There. I said it. And I’m proud. The truth is, Howard’s always been one of my favorite movies. Perhaps because in my youth, I felt as alienated as a duck from outer space who lands in Cleveland. Perhaps because to this day I have a crush on Lea Thompson. Perhaps because the film was everything I could’ve asked for as a kid, an action packed romantic comedy with Dark Overlords of the Universe thrown into the mix. Whatever the reason, I quickly found out when I was 13 years old that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, agreed with me. I asked myself: How could anybody not love a movie about a duck who falls from space, lands in Cleveland, ends up in love with a hot human female, and fights an intergalactic alien with the world at stake? As years went by, people would laugh at my mere mention of the film, let alone when I offered to watch it with them. I moved on from my VHS copy my best friend Fasano made off of HBO, to a bootleg DVD that I like to believe was cut off a tape of the same HBO performance. As time moved on and it seemed that everything in the world but Howard the Duck would eventually be released on legitimate DVD, eventually I gave up hope.


Well, not only is Howard the Duck out on DVD now, but it’s got a bona fide special edition, complete with two new featurettes on which people involved with the film agreed to appear, as well as three vintage featurettes and two teaser trailers. I rejoice! And yet, why do I feel I’m the only person other than Lea Thompson who bought this disc?


Okay, first off let me apologize. The first three paragraphs were an exercise in slavish geekboy fandom, and not a review proper. But sometimes I’ve got to set the stage before I get to the crux of things. The crux of things is that, at 36, I realize that Howard the Duck is not a good movie. But I love it as much now as I did at 13, and so I’ll use this review to defend it, and hopefully sway you to join my cult of one.


Before I go into praise of this film, let me address what’s wrong with it. Howard the Duck’s premise is a hard sell; while a talking duck is usually kiddie fare, the Howard of the Marvel Comics, on which the movie is based, is a cigar chomping wiseass with a sarcastic sense of humor. The movie strives to make him accessible to children, and simultaneously struggles to give him an edge. In doing so, it fails on both ends. The script searches in vain for an identity; is this an action movie, a comedy, a punk music retrospective, a perverse interspecies romance? Trying to satisfy all these masters, it shifts continuously. This causes a tonal nightmare for the audience, as the script never achieves any kind of balance. The answer to every question, the dialogue assures is, is a lame duck joke. And oh, dear God, are there a multitude of lame duck jokes.


And then there are the effects. Sure, the duck suit works, in its own, goofy way. But what big budget summer flick leaves in a scene where the audience can see a wire pulling a character through a diner window? The movie is fraught with gaffes such as this, the type that even a Troma film would clean up (okay, maybe not. But Troma films tend to cost closer to 35 thousand dollars, than 35 MILLION). With such a lack of attention to detail and things such as decent visual effects and a balanced plot with a coherent vision, it’s easy for me to see why people laugh at me about Howard.


It’s also hard to believe that this film was such a slipshod disaster when one considers the talent behind it. Writer/director Willard Huyck and his writing partner/wife Gloria Katz were responsible for writing the well-loved American Graffiti. John Barry had composed the James Bond soundtracks. Master puppeteer Phil Tippett and soundman Ben Burtt, both veterans of the first Star Wars trilogy, had won Oscars. And let’s not forget that the man who originally envisioned Howard as a feature film was Mr. Star Wars himself, George Lucas. Under the control of these artists, Howard should have been on parallel with Indiana Jones. Instead, the film cost 35 million dollars to make, and only made back 15 million. In today’s inflated world, that sounds like chump change; in 1986, it qualified Howard as one of cinema history’s biggest bombs.


This is starting to sound like a really negative review. Trust me, it’s not. Still with me? Good. Now let me tell you what I love Howard the Duck. Very few movies try to offer the audience an action movie, a comedy, a punk music retrospective, and a perverse interspecies romance all under one roof. I legitimately dig them all. The ultra light flight scene still gets my blood going. I can let the duck jokes slide, and some of the other jokes however corny, still make me laugh. The songs are trashy, but punk’s supposed to be, and they’re all in good fun (and yes, I own the soundtrack). As for the romance, Lea Thompson is beautiful, and she does a better job of flirting with a duck than anybody should have a right to. Say what you want about the movie, but her scenes with Howard are heartfelt.


More so than any of this, I still love Howard the Duck because it’s silly fun. In the middle of what was a very rough childhood for me, I adored Howard for being as out of the ordinary as I felt, and yet finding a way to make his way in a world he never made. And he ended up with the hot girl to boot. So maybe beyond the escapism, in an odd way Howard gave me hope.


And a few weeks ago, Universal Studios delivered on the hope I’d forsaken. On its release day, I drove to six different DVD retailers before I found a copy at my local Blockbuster Video. Universal kissed me on the cheek not just once, but a second time with the extras. The first, “A Look Back at Howard the Duck,” runs almost a half hour. Considering the making of the film was anything but mundane, I’m surprised the featurette has such a mundane title. Hyuck, Katz and Lea Thompson discuss the making of the film, with contributions from Jeffrey Jones and Howard himself, Ed Gale. The impression “Look Back” left on me was just how difficult a film Howard the Duck was to make. With special effects that would be considered primitive by today’s standards, constantly malfunctioning duck suits, and a release date that left no margin for error, it’s a miracle that Howard is as good as it is. The other featurette, “Releasing the Duck,” focuses on what a disaster the film was for everybody. Toward the end, Huyck tries to sell it as a film that has a very appreciative, ever growing cult, as he and Katz say Lucas predicted it would. Even in my blind allegiance, I find that absurd and unfounded. The three vintage pieces are of the short variety; they focus individually on stunts, special effects, and music. These are typical fluff pieces so prevalent at the time. Two teaser trailers round out the package. I have trouble making it to the second trailer; the first has Lea sprawled out on the floor, in all her shoulder padded, crimp-haired glory, acting very seductive.


Is Howard the Duck a bad movie, by most standards? Absolutely. Is it as bad as those precious few people who’ve seen it say it is? Maybe. Will Howard the Duck remain one of my guilty pleasures, and one of my favorite movies? Always. And before you ridicule me, horror fans, check your DVD collection and see if it sports Plan 9 from Outer Space. Go ahead and poke fun at me now. I dare you.


--Phil Fasso