Quantcast Icons of Fright DVD Reviews: September 2007 Archives

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September 29, 2007

MONSTER MAN


MONSTER MAN

After the entire Icons crew walked out of a recent screening of the flick SHOOT ‘EM UP, Mike C turned to me and said, “If you loved that, you have to check out MONSTER MAN.” SHOOT ‘EM UP was the most fun action flick we’d all collectively seen since… I don’t know... COMMANDO? (Which is funny, considering most of us saw COMMANDO on cable at farrrr too young an age.) But anyways - the reason I’m gushing so much over SHOOT ‘EM UP is not only because I love Clive Owen, think Paul Giamatti is a bad ass and would give up parts of my anatomy to sniff Monica Bellucci, but it was because I had just found out that the writer/director behind such an entertaining flick had also dabbled in the horror genre a few years back!

Yep, filmmaker Michael Davis made this little genre flick called MONSTER MAN back in 2003, and Mike recommended it to me highly. Considering our tastes are fairly similar (Hell, we created this site, didn’t we?), I sought out the DVD and picked it up a few short days later.

The verdict? MONSTER MAN is a fun, hilarious and a great little gem of a horror movie!

What’s the story? Ok. Buddies Adam and Harley are on a cross-country trip headed down to the wedding of Adam’s life-long crush, Bettie-Anne. (Actually, the chick he always did homework for and who’s never seen him as anything more then her geeky friend.) Harely’s a bit of a jerk, constantly busting Adam’s chops, calling him a “wuss” and trying to persuade him that Bettie-Anne is a “whore”. He’s so much of a loud-mouth that during their various pit stops, Harley goes out of his way to make-fun of a lot of the locals out loud. They eventually pick up a smokin’ hot hitchhiker named Sarah. (Played by Aimee Brooks. More on her in a second.) And shortly thereafter start getting harassed on the road by a giant monster truck. The driver it turns out… happens to be a monster. (Yes, a monster driving a monster truck! I love it just as much as SHOOT ‘EM UP’s gun fight in a gun factory. Michael Davis is a genius!) They spend a good chunk of time on the run, trying to convince the local law enforcement that there’s a maniac after them, when all hell breaks loose.

The thing that works so well about this movie is the perfect balance of humor, horror and gore. The first half of the movie is really, really funny, and Davis captures the natural conversations between two friends so beautifully and truthfully. It feels real. By the time the film hit the 50-60 minute mark, I wasn’t sure how much further they could stretch the chase from “fuck-face” (a name Harley coins because their antagonist “has a fucked up face! So he’s fuck-face”). But then the third act was so out of left field that it just MADE the entire movie and firmly placed it well within the horror genre. Just… see for yourself. Don’t want to spoil it for you.

The actors were great all around. When it’s this small a cast, you hope that you’re going to spend your 90 minutes with some charming motherfuckers and in this case, you get your money’s worth. Eric Jungmann plays Adam and portrays the geek angle well enough to make him totally relatable and likable without being annoying. Just about every article of his clothing has velcro on it and you can’t help but laugh at his interaction with Harley through-out the entire picture. You really root for him too when Sarah comes into the picture. (Could the geek actually GET the super-hot hitchhiker? Well, we’re hoping!) Speaking of Sarah, writer/director Davis mentions on the making-of featurette how actress Aimee Brooks came into her audition and he just immediately had a crush on her. Let me take that a few steps further. I am totally in love with Aimee Brooks after this movie. Seriously, I hope she comes across this review so she can see my declaration of love in print! (Comment! E-mail me! Whatever!) She’s really good in this and her performance alone is compelling me to throw THE MANGLER REBORN on my Netflix rental queue. Michael Baily Smith plays “fuck-face”. What can I say? This guy is great at being an intimidating monster. (See HILLS HAVE EYES remake.) Let’s not forget about Justin Urich (Harley). Although he’s a wise-ass and a jerk for the majority of the movie, you can’t help but like this guy. It’s like that one buddy of yours that’s always being an asshole on purpose, but whom you’ve come to find it’s his most endearing quality.

Credit should really go to writer/director Michael Davis. Seriously, I’ve discovered 2 of his movies in one month and both were among the most entertaining films I’d seen in ages. Check out MONSTER MAN and SHOOT ‘EM UP. I’m going to dig back further into his film career because I have a feeling I’m going to dig his early comedies as well.

The DVD features a brief making-of featurette. It’s pretty cool and explains how the producers came to Davis with only the title and how he immediately thought it’d be cool is they had a monster who stalked people in a monster truck. Brilliant. Rent or buy this one. –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

-Rob G.

September 28, 2007

HAND, THE


THE HAND

Wow. I’ve been wanting to see this odd little gem from early in Oliver Stone’s career ever since I read about it in Mike C.’s TRILOGY PICKS post several months back. I’m surprised that I actually hadn’t heard of it before then. Michael Caine? Oliver Stone? Wacky concept about a killer hand? I’m freakin’ sold! And thankfully, so is Warner Brothers because they dug deep into their horror catalog to unleash this some-what long lost gem.

Michael Caine stars as Jonathan Lansdale, a successful comic book artist who loses his hand in a terrible car accident. The process to heal himself, try to fix his failing marriage and get some sort of normalcy in his life after the accident has been difficult. His career is over, he’s losing his wife and to top it all off, they never even found his freakin’ hand! (Oh, you SEE it get lopped off. Keep those hands INSIDE the car, kids!) Slowly but surely, the people causing Jonathan the most trouble in his readjustment start coming to terrible ends. At the beginning of the movie, his young daughter finds the severed tail of a lizard still twitching in the grass. This analogy is important if you’re going to buy the films wacky premise later. Could the severed “hand” really be responsible for all the killing? Sure seems that way!

Surprising is the style that Stone shows as a director this early in his career. Often when we’re experiencing “the hand’s” presence, the film becomes black and white. (The black and white point of view of the hand?!) There are a few kills in the movie, but it’s not necessarily a gory “horror” movie. The red does come a flowin’ occasionally though, and in spurts during the opening scene when Caine loses the hand. In fact, I’m willing to bet that the few hints dropped in the third act will cause you to take pause and wonder if you’d actually just watched a brilliantly crafted psychological thriller as opposed to a “horror” film. While I’m sure that’s what Stone intended, look… the movie’s called the freakin’ HAND. And we see a hand killing people. I’m sticking to my guns and calling it a cheesy horror flick.

This is a bit slower paced then the average movie nowadays, but I was fine with it and followed along intently. Maybe it’s just because I love Michael Caine as an actor. This came out in what… 1981? Back in the mid to late 80’s, I only remembered Caine from GET CARTER, JAWS: THE REVENGE and BLAME IT ON RIO and in all 3 flicks (despite their varying quality… ok GET CARTER’s a great movie) I just always found something so likable about Michael Caine. Hell, his wife may be cheating in this flick, but don’t worry. He gets to bang one of his students repeatedly when he relocates to teach in California. And by the end of the movie, Michael Caine is so bat-shit crazy, I started wondering which stills I could pull to make T-Shirts out of.

In other words, I liked THE HAND. And I think weather you like it or not will all rest on what you think of the ending. (Oh, and the 80 minutes leading up to that ending, of course!)

Special Features: This is the first time this movie’s been available on DVD, it’s in widescreen and it’s got a commentary track with Oliver Stone himself. (Along with the theatrical trailer, which is wonderful.) I’m definitely going to give the commentary a listen soon enough. I gotta know what Stone thinks of this movie! –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

DR. GIGGLES


DR. GIGGLES

Oh! God bless it! Next up in the “Twisted Terror Collection” is the early 90’s “slasher” flick DR. GIGGLES, featuring DARKMAN bad-guy Larry Drake as the good ol’ doctor!

Man, I remember seeing this in theaters! And I honestly think it’s been at least a decade since I’ve last had a look at this movie. I remember liking it when I initially saw it. But then again, I was 15 in 1992. And I always approach these movies that gave me fond memories back then with caution now because I’m petrified they’re going to be terrible. Well, DR. GIGGLES isn’t a horror masterpiece, but I’ll be damned, it still entertains the hell out of me!

I love how this movie just jumps right in.  It opens with Larry Drake, nick-name Dr. Giggles performing an operation on a patient while a bunch of people look on. Turns out, the on-lookers are nuts and we’re in an insane asylum where the good doctor has managed to escape from his room. Right off the bat, we get several kills and the flick is already off to a bloody good start. After his escape, Giggles heads back to his old house, pulls out all of his father’s old M.D. gear and starts making some house calls!

A group of teens plan to play a trick on each other by breaking into the house and locking one of the couples in one of the rooms. Standard teenage horror high-jinx. But in this case, it gives Dr. Giggles his next few victims. The thing I really like about the movie from here on in is the back story that slowly creeps into play. Turns out Dr. Giggles is really little Evan Rendell, the son of a well respected local doctor who became insane shortly after his wife had fallen ill. Evan wanted nothing more then to be a doctor just like his father, and we see glimpses of his childhood, which included dissecting all of stuffed animals. Apparently, Dr. Rendell Sr. was responsible for the death of a few of his patients, the locals got a little antsy and dragged him out of his house for a little payback. Evan was never found, but it’s obvious that he’s our maniacally deranged doctor!

There’s plenty of cool gory bits and kills through out. And Larry Drake drops a lot of one-liners and giggles a lot. But, believe it or not, although most will argue that the filmmakers were trying to give Dr. Giggles those Freddy-esque one-liners, I always thought (and still think) that his comments before a kill were quite disturbing. Obviously the gibber of a lunatic. Besides, there’s a scene where Drake is pulling a bullet out of his gut by himself and giggling like a madman the whole time. Very unnerving to me. Not campy.

But hell, what do I know? Other then that this is one of my guiltiest pleasures and I look forward to inflicting the rest of the Icons crew with this movie via a private screening shortly!

Special Features: Sadly, none, but the movie’s in widescreen now as opposed to it’s previous incarnation! –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

SOMEONE'S WATCHING ME!


SOMEONE’S WATCHING ME!

Now, here’s an interesting movie I’d heard about for years. The long-lost John Carpenter TV movie that he’d done right before HALLOWEEN. It’s been unavailable in any format for years, but here it makes its grand debut on DVD, and I think I can speak for Carpenter fans everywhere when I say that it’s quite a treat!

Lauren Hutton stars as Leigh Michaels, a new resident of LA who works for a television studio and lives in a beautiful high-rise apartment complex. She soon starts getting anonymous gifts and harassing phone calls and it becomes quite obvious that the prankster is watching her closely. It’s not distracting her at first, but her paranoia grows as do the volume in phone calls. She tries to keep herself occupied with work and a budding new romance, but becomes afraid for her life at what her stalker will do next. With the police unable to do anything about the harassing phone calls (“We can’t do anything unless he tries to do something”), Leigh decides to start taking matters into her own hands, and begins investigating who the stalker could be.

I don’t want to give away who it is or how she goes about finding out because that’s half the fun! But it’s safe to say that even though this is a made-for-TV movie, it’s definitely trademark Carpenter. In fact, it’s fun to see evidence of his unique style so early in his career. For example, several times we see the “point-of-view” shot, which a few short months later he’d make famous with the opening of HALLOWEEN. And like most Carpenter films, the first half is slow. Moderately paced, revealing only bits of the story and letting it play out naturally. It isn’t until the second half when the tables turn and Leigh decides to do something about her stalker that things start to get really interesting.

It’s funny, nowadays with the advent of cell phones and caller ID, it’s difficult not to find this kind of story a bit out-dated, but because of the craft in the way the story is told visually, it still makes for an intriguing movie. There’s a particular tense scene in the parking garage where Leigh hides in an underground vent convinced her stalker is following her. And I can say with confidence that SOMEONE’S WATCHING ME also has a very satisfying conclusion. (And lead up to that conclusion.)

Also worthy of note? A few Carpenter alumni in the cast! Charles Cyphers (Sheriff Brackett himself) plays Gary Hunt, the officer keeping track of Leigh’s harassment. And foxy Adrienne Barbeau plays Leigh’s co-worker and friend Sophie. Lauren Hutton gives a pretty solid and believable performance at this stage in her career. I was always strangely intrigued & attracted to her. She’s kinda hot? But kinda not? But you can’t really take your eyes off her when she’s on screen. She makes me feel funny inside. Not sure why. Barbeau on the other hand, I’ve always had a crush on since THE FOG, SWAMP THING and BACK TO SCHOOL! So, I totally know where I stand on my feelings for Adriene Barbeau.

Overall, I’m glad this flick is finally available. As a life-long fan of Carpenter’s, it’s nice to be introduced to something from his filmography that I’d never experienced before.

Special Features: Besides being available for the first time, which in itself is a special feature, there’s a great little candid interview with John Carpenter talking about the history of this project. How he got involved, how fast the production went, working with the cast, etc. He still looks back fondly on this particular film with a lot of affinity. –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

DEADLY FRIEND


DEADLY FRIEND

Sweet lord! My bootleg copy of this badboy is going in the closet! Finally, we have a widescreen DVD copy of Wes Craven’s crap-cult classic DEADLY FRIEND. Now, I know this is going to be a bold statement, but I think this is my favorite Wes Craven movie ever. Seriously.

Whoa, whoa. Before you start throwing tomatoes at me, hear me out! First of all, my Dad’s Italian. He’s got a huge garden. We’ve got hundreds of tomatoes in the kitchen. I can take it if you throw one at me. Second, I think it’s just the great affinity I had for this movie when I first experienced it as a teen that explains why I love it so much and hold it so close to my heart.

Besides the classic Universal Monster movies, my introduction into the horror world was the first NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET movie. So naturally, shortly after becoming a horror fanatic, I’d hunt down anything Wes Craven was involved in. (Thank God this wasn’t the early 2000’s) And God bless HBO for always repeating movies a billion times back when we were growing up because I’d always catch DEADLY FRIEND late at night. And sure enough, I fell in love… With a teenage Kristy Swanson (Actually the sweet-natured character of Sam) and a yellow little robot named BB!

Paul and his mother have just moved into town, but Paul is not like most teenagers. He’s a freakin’ genius and he’s built a bad-ass little yellow robot named BB that makes Johnny 5 look like a bitch. Because of his intellect (and perhaps the fact that he’s teaching a college course?), it’s not exactly easy for Paul to make too many friends. Sure there’s Tom, but in all fairness, they’re only friends because he tripped over BB while trying to deliver papers. Ah, but then there’s the girl next door. Samantha has an abusive, creepy father who looks like he’s right out of the same custodian school as Freddy Krueger. The 3 (along with BB) become great friends, but there’s always a few jerks that have to spoil the good times! Mainly, punk ass Carl and his gang, as well as crazy old Elvira Parker across the street. (Anne Ramsey from THROW MAMA FROM THE TRAIN). First BB bites the bullet. And then Sam gets killed when she “accidentally” falls down the stairs with a little push from dear old dad.

Paul refuses to give up on Sam, so he brings her back to life by putting a chip in her brain like the one that brought BB to life. But the new version of Sam has got this nasty little habit of killing people that annoy her in fairly horrible and overtly graphic ways. (Head in a stove, basketball to the head, etc.) So, essentially this is a loose-take on the Frankenstein story but with the girl next door and a bitchin’ little robot. And I love every cheesy second of it. Even to this day!

First of all, there’s the random scares. Fresh off of his success with NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, Wes Craven throws in a few “nightmare jump” scares. Sam has a nightmare. Paul has a nightmare. Everyone pretty much has a nightmare. Then there’s that funny little robot, BB! He’s got his evil side. It’s evident from the very start, when a thief is scoping the contents of the families car. Or when he grabs Carl and squeezes his nuts. Or even later on when he wants to fight Elvira Parker, who’s totting a shotgun! This robot’s got balls. (Of steel, perhaps? Oh!)

Then there’s Kristy Swanson. I said it before in my VAULT write-up and I’ll say it again. I don’t know why, but this is the only movie that I find her attractive in. Look, I know she’s young girl in the flick, but I was maybe 13-14 when I first saw this? And I totally fell in love with the character of Sam. Even when she made those weird robot hand gestures. Maybe it’s because she’s pale and mute. I don’t know. But yeah, I love her in this flick.

The kills! Over the top and ridiculous! 4 words! Basketball To The Head! Go on You Tube, you’ll see what I’m talking about. And the song over the end credits sums up 80’s cheese so perfectly. A synth song that repeatedly calls out “BB!” I love it.

Biggest disappointment though? For years, I was convinced BB was muttering something whenever he spoke besides “BB”. So, I watched a bit of the movie with the subtitles on, and when it got to BB talking, it’d often read “(BB speaking gibberish)” Also, the cover! MGM? Universal? All you big companies? Stop hiring unimaginative, unoriginal kids that have never seen the movies to photoshop your covers! Does anyone in your advertising department realize how long I (and everyone else my age) stood in the video store as kids, entranced by the VHS box art for half of these movies? Guess what? Kids today will find those covers just as intriguing. It ain’t broke. Stop trying to fix it.

No features here besides the trailer, the movie in widescreen, and the fact that it’s out on DVD now! Buy it! Watch it with a large group of friends. I plan to! –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

EYES OF A STRANGER


EYES OF A STRANGER

Back when I was a teenager, there was a “mom and pop” video store down the block from me, and the punk rock dude that ran the place would let me rent anything I wanted. So practically every other day, I’d stop by there and rent just about every horror title I could get my little hands on. After all, we had so much to choose from in the late 80’s/early 90’s after the golden age of the “slasher” films. But I guess despite it all, there were a few gems that slipped through my rental queue that I never got to experience. EYES OF A STRANGER was one of them that up until now, I had never seen. And to be honest, I think it’s pretty neat to be able to pluck a movie out from that era and experience it for the first time now as an adult.

The film’s about this creepy murderer/rapist terrorizing the streets of Miami. He stalks his victims, follows them home and prank calls them dozen’s of times before finally striking. (And when I say prank call, I mean like “Black Christmas”-freaky as hell kinda shit!) Lauren Tewes plays a television newscaster Jane Harris who emphasizes the importance for people to be more proactive in volunteering details that might help catch this lunatic. She also carries a great burden of guilt for her younger sister Tracy (a very young Jennifer Jason Leigh), whom as a kid she accidentally let get kidnapped when she wasn’t watching her. The entire traumatic ordeal has left Tracy both blind and mute.

Here’s the neat part of this flick. The killer’s identity isn’t that much of a mystery by the end of the first act. Jane actually spots this sleazebag changing his “bloody” shirt in the parking lot of the apartment complex they both live in. That’s right, the killer lives in the building right across from hers. She decides to turn the tables and begins crank calling him. She starts following him and begins searching for hard evidence and proof of who he truly is. This all leads to a tense and satisfying conclusion that just can’t be missed.

What can I say? I really loved this movie. It was totally creepy (slightly sleezy too) and had great performances from Lauren Tewes, Jennifer Jason Leigh and even the killer, John DiSanti. While this easily could’ve been edited slightly differently to give it the tag of “thriller”, it’s not. It’s a straight up “slasher” flick from the same production crew that released FRIDAY THE 13th the previous year. And they deliver on a few gory moments through-out.

You know who’d love this movie? Bad kids! And the ultimate bad kid I know is Icons staffer John Torrani (who once in a blue moon writes a column for us called “MOVIES THE BAD KIDS LIKE”). Let me ask you if the following stuff sounds “naughty” to you. Rape, murder/rape, harassing phone calls, kidnapping, stalking, moving things around on a blind person, slapping and attempted rape of a handicapped girl and a beheading via meat cleaver. This movie has all those things and more. So if you’re a “bad kid” and like “bad things”, this movie’s for you.

Again, no features, but considering this has become somewhat of a “lost” cult-classic, just having it on DVD is great. Plus it’s presented in widescreen like all the other “TWISTED TERROR” titles. Highly recommended, especially if you’re a fan of 80’s “slasher” movies. –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE


FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Wow! Another little horror gem I’d never seen from before I was even born! FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE is somewhat of an anthology film. There’s 4 different stories through out the duration of the film, but the common thread is that a character from each story stops by the old antique shop run by none other then Peter Cushing!

Pretty much, if you go shopping at Peter Cushing’s antique shop, try to swindle him, rip him off, or hell… even bargain with the guy, something terrible is going to happen to you for the next 20 minutes!

The first person to make a purchase is none other then David Warner! (Man, this flick’s got a great cast. Just wait. It gets better.) David Warner plays Edward Charlton who purchases an old antique mirror from Cushing. He has a party, and decided to have a séance, which awakens a ghost trapped within the mirror, who gives instructions to Edward to “bring him victims”. So, he uncontrollably feels compelled to bring home girls and murder them in front of the mirror to satisfy the mirror ghost. Oh yeah. Warner. Going bat-shit crazy. It’s wonderful.

Next up, a gent keeps coming across a match-book salesman on the streets, played by Donald Pleasance. For some reason, this fellow keeps a little white lie going by convincing Jim Underwood (Pleasance) that he’s a war vet and has a purple heart. Mister Underwood starts inviting the man back to his place for warm meals with him and his daughter (played by Donald’s real life daughter Angela!). Eventually, the daughter puts the moves on the man, but are the Underwood’s true intentions more sinister then they appear to be?

In the third segment, a gentleman hires Madame Orloff to excise a spirit that’s fixed itself on his shoulder. In the final segment, a man buys an antique door from Cushing’s shop and once he installs it in his home for his closet, it actually becomes the door to another dimension. And an angry ghost is trying to get out!

Overall, I had fun watching FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. It was well-paced, presented short old-school ghost stories, had a fantastic cast and kept me entertained the whole way through. I recommend this if you want to try out something a little different!

Features include only a widescreen presentation and a theatrical trailer. –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

TWISTED TERROR COLLECTION (Boxed Set)


TWISTED TERROR COLLECTION.

Wow. Warner Brothers must’ve been raiding their vaults these past few months! Either that or just keeping tabs at what’s been selling as bootlegs on the convention circuit. Regardless, it’s all good news for us, as the WB provides us with 6 obscure and unique horror films dubbed the “TWISTED TERROR” box set to add to our already ever-growing DVD collections.

Since I reviewed each of the titles individually, I’m just going to give a brief synopsis of what each film is about. Just click on the title and it’ll link you to the more extensive individual review of the movie.

THE HAND: One of director Oliver Stone’s first films! Stars Michael Caine as a comic book artist who loses his hand in a terrible car accident. As he struggles to readjust, the people in his life who have wronged him suddenly meet to untimely deaths at the hand of… well… his killer severed hand!

DR. GIGGLES: One time DARKMAN foe Larry Drake plays Evan Rendell, aka DR. GIGGLES, a maniac who’s just escaped from a mental institution and who insists on following in his father’s footsteps by being a doctor. And this doc makes house calls that turn deadly! Great, cheesy, gory fun from the early 90’s!

SOMEONE’S WATCHING ME! Finally, John Carpenter’s long lost TV movie makes it’s way to DVD. It stars Lauren Hutton as a woman being stalks and harassed by a potential killer. Adrienne Barbeau and Charles Cyphers also star in Carpenter’s pre-HALLOWEEN flick.

DEADLY FRIEND: Wes Craven’s follow-up to NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is a new take on the Frankenstein story and loosely based on the novel FRIEND by Diana Henstell. Paul is a boy genius who moves into town with his mother and robot creation BB. He falls for the girl next door who dies suddenly at the hands of her abusive father. He refuses to let her die and brings her back to life using the same technology used to create BB. Only she comes back with killer tendencies. Kristy Swanson debuts as the girl next door, Sam.

EYES OF A STRANGER: Another long lost “slasher” picture from the production company that produced FRIDAY THE 13th. Jennifer Jason Leigh plays a young mute, blind girl who’s being stalked by a murderer/rapist who’s been terrorizing Miami for weeks. Kinda creepy, kinda sleezy. This is definitely one from the golden era of “slasher” pics that you have to check out!

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE: An anthology film featuring 4 separate ghost stories and boasting an impressive British cast which includes Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasance, David Warner, Ian Bannen and more.

I mentioned before that the above titles are the types of things you’d probably pick up at a horror convention one weekend and that’s part of the appeal of this box set. Sure all of them are completely diverse and span from the 70’s all the way through the 90’s. But SOMEONE’S WATCHING ME pairs up nicely with EYES OF A STRANGER as a double feature. As do guilty pleasures DR. GIGGLES and DEADLY FRIEND. And hell, THE HAND and FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE match. One’s got Michael Caine. The other’s got a bunch of British folks. Overall, I love the TWISTED TERROR collection, because it can easily be 6 hard to find movies that you would buy at a convention on bootleg. Only now, they’re not hard to find anymore. They look and sound great. They’re all in widescreen. And they’re all in one collection. Highly recommended! –Robg.

Buy it on Amazon.com!

BLACKENSTEIN


BLACKENSTEIN

After stepping on a land mine, Vietnam war veteran Eddie Turner is left armless and legless. His fiancee, Dr. Winifred Walker, seeks the assistance of her former teacher Dr. Stein. The doctor plans to perform an operation to attach new arms and legs to poor limbless Eddie. However, Dr. Stein’s assistant Malcolm has fallen in love with Winifred. Realizing he doesn’t stand a chance with her as long as Eddie is around, he switches the DNA that is to be used for Eddie’s operation. Of course this leads to disastrous results as Eddie turns into a Frankenstein-like monster with an afro. While I have not seen many blaxploitation movies, I think it’s safe to say there are better out there than Blackenstein. That’s not to say it’s bottom of the barrel either. It’s a rather plain movie. There’s really no ups or downs. It just kind of flatlines most of the way through. The acting is monotonous and dull. Especially, that of the guy playing Eddie. Wake up, man. The gore effects are laughable. The movie is very slow with a lot of unnecessary pacing. All that said, Blackenstein is rather enjoyable in a Mystery Science Theater kind of way, but not as bad as the movies they show and not that much better. I’d say it was worth viewing once, but no more. I’m sure it has it’s audience and some people are bound to like it, but those people are few and far between. Of possible interest to anyone who may have liked Abby.

Special Features: Trailers for other releases from Xenon Pictures. -Neil

Buy it on Amazon.com!

REALITY KILLS


REALITY KILLS

Seven strangers are picked to live in a house, have their lives taped and find out when happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. Wait a minute. That sounds very familiar. Anyway, someone has taken their love of reality tv one step too far. Wait a minute. Never mind. So it turns out there is a killer in the bunch who begins picking of the cast and crew. Soon fear and paranoia erupts and no one can trust anyone else. As the battle for survival continues through the night, the numbers dwindle. Which of the cliche cast members could the killer be? The gothic gay. The narcissistic slut. The innocent virgin. The black guy. The racist, homophobic misogynist. Or is it a rating’s hungry producer. Who cares? Reality Kills is a mixture of The Real World and Big Brother with a lame killer thrown in the mix. All of the usual reality tv characters are present and for the most part portrayed poorly. There are more than a few dud actors in the group, but reality tv usually has bad acting so maybe it was intentional. Of course, like on any reality show, everyone is so damn annoying. You’re rooting for them to be killed. Unfortunately, most of the deaths are the same and totally stupid. First, the victim is shocked with some kind of taser and then given a lethal injection. It’s hard to even call Reality Kills a horror movie. There’s no suspense, no tension, no thrills and chills, and no horror. So some people die. Big deal. Someone dies in Terms Of Endearment, that doesn’t make it horror. So what kind of movie is Reality Kills? Well, it’s not funny so it can’t be a comedy. It’s not heart-wrenching so it can’t be a drama. There’s bad language and nudity so it’s probably not a family movie. I don’t know what the hell it’s supposed to be. Ultimately, I vote to evict Reality Kills.

Special Features: None -Neil

Buy it on Amazon.com!

GUARDIAN OF THE REALM


GUARDIAN OF THE REALM

There aren’t many low budget, direct-to-dvd releases that manage to be anything other than below average. They skimp on the gore, the action, the story. Basically, any special effects. Everything is cut away and done off screen or poorly done on screen. Guardian Of The Realm is a welcome exception. After stealing an ancient scroll and other artifacts, an occultist group releases the demon god Virago. A year later a team of demon hunters, mainly Josh Griffin and Alex Marlowe, investigating the missing artifacts are lead to Virago. In the end it is up to Josh and Alex to destroy him before he reaches his full power and unleashes hell on earth. Unlike the numerous low budget movies mentioned earlier, Guardian Of The Realm is packed full with awesome fight sequences, a healthy dose of gore, well executed special effects and really cool make-up effects. The overall look of the demons along with the fight sequences are very reminiscent of tv’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The team of Josh and Alex is a great pairing. Both of the actors playing them, Glen Levy and Tanya Dempsey, excel in their performance giving the characters believability and making the audience sympathetic towards them. I was genuinely surprised by how much I liked this movie. It far exceeded my expectations. Guardian Of The Realm is a fantastic mixture of horror, action, fantasy along with a few laughs. I highly recommend this movie to anyone looking for something worthwhile outside the mainstream. It just might surprise you like it did me. Enjoy!

Special Features: Theatrical Trailer, Previews -Neil

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CANDY STRIPERS


CANDY STRIPERS

On their way to a party, two girls are sidetracked when they come into contact with an alien being. Later, at the hospital, one of the girls on her deathbed requests a kiss from the candy striper who is watching her and I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek either. Of course this being an ordinary request, no nothing unusual here, the candy striper obliges. As you may have already guessed, this is not such a bright idea and the alien force is transferred to the candy striper via a slimy, green mass of something. Soon all the other candy stripers and hospital affiliates are inhabited and on a sugar rush. It’s up to a group of injured basketball players and their friends to stop the sexy alien succubuses by giving them insulin injections before they breed. Obviously, this movie is not to be taken seriously in the least bit. If you can get past the absurdity it is actually a fun movie. The special effects for the most part are kind of lame. Not necessarily bad, just lame. The characters, while maybe run of the mill, are not boring. You have the main jock Matt and his blonde cheerleader girlfriend Krystal. Matt’s best friends and teammates Brian and sex depraved Joey. Joey’s diabetic little sister Cherie who is lusting after Matt. Former Playboy Playmates in candy striper uniforms. Sexy Nurse Sally who gives killer head. Look, it’s not destined to become a classic. Nothing worth watching over and over. It’s just plain, good, dumb, campy fun.

Special Features: Previews -Neil

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HEADHUNTER


HEADHUNTER

Having worked at an insurance company for five years, Ben Caruso is looking for something better. Taking the advice of a client, he visits corporate headhunter Sarah Tierney who gets him a job for higher pay working the graveyard shift. On his first night on the job he encounters strange occurrences. A weird voice over the intercom. A man who walks past Ben’s office and seemingly disappears when Ben goes after him. A Xerox machine printing hundreds of papers with weird, shadowy images that seem to be some kind of animation when flipped through. When Ben goes back to Sarah’s office, it seems no one there knows who he is talking about. After a little detective work he finds out Sarah was murdered ten years prior. She was apparently beheaded and the murder went unsolved. When Ben finds out he must find the head and reunite it with Sarah’s body by the end of two days, it’s a race against time to save himself from becoming another ghost that haunts the office building. The premise of Headhunter is really nothing that hasn’t been done before. A ghost trapped between worlds waiting for someone to help them cross over and find their killer in the process. However, it is a pleasant viewing experience. There may not be any Sixth Sense-like chills and thrills, twists and turns, or surprise endings, but it is an effective little ghost story. The strong performances by most of the actors keep the viewer interested along with a decent amount of gore and a little sex to keep things from lagging. Overall, it’s nothing that will blow you away. You won’t walk away feeling amazed by what you’ve seen. Granted, there are better ghost story movies out there, but once you’ve seen them you might went to give this simple, little movie a try.

Special Features: Trailer -Neil

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THIRST, THE


THE THIRST

Maxx and his girlfriend Lisa are recovering drug addicts. When Lisa finds out she is dying of cancer she’s made a proposal by "the hospital psychiatrist." A choice between death or life after death. After her apparent suicide, Maxx finds himself distraught and in a world of depression. At the urging of two friends he goes to a club where he sees Lisa dancing among the crowd. He soon learns she has joined a family of vampires and allows Lisa to turn him into one so they can still be together. Ultimately, they decide this is not the lifestyle they want and set about separating themselves from the group. Only it’s not that easy. The only way out is death. Whether it be theirs or the rest of the family. The Thirst is a fantastic movie that has everything you could want in this type of horror movie. Blood. And tons of it. Gallons and gallons of blood. Gore galore. A plethora of T&A. Awesome characters played by an amazing cast. Twisted romance. Fun, fun and more fun. Good times to be had by all. Once the movie gets started it doesn’t slow down until the credits roll. The movie is also filled with familiar faces. Clare Kramer (TV’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer), Matt Keeslar (Scream 3), Jeremy Sisto (May), Charlotte Ayanna (The Rage: Carrie 2), Tom Lenk (TV’s Buffy) and genre fan favorite Ellie Cornell (Halloween 4&5.) If you’re looking for a bloody good time, The Thirst is for you.

Special Features: Audio Commentary with Writer/Producer Mark A. Altman and Composer Joe Kraemer, Deleted Scenes (more like extended scenes), Photo Gallery Including Production Sketches, DVD-Rom Script -Neil

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CURSE OF THE ZODIAC


CURSE OF THE ZODIAC

So I guess this "movie" is supposed to be about the Zodiac killer. The only problem is that it is not based on any factual information from the actual case. It’s all complete nonsense. There is not one favorable thing I can say about this "movie." Okay, I thought of one. The "actress" Cassandra Church is a beautiful girl. But then again that says nothing of the "movie" itself. Her "acting" along with everyone else’s is a total joke anyway. The Zodiac speaks with a really annoying voice which I guess is supposed to sound menacing and he says the term "fat f*ck" at least 60 times throughout the 82 minute running time. It looks like this trash was written, filmed, edited all in a day. There is not one iota of professional film making present through this whole damn thing. Ulli Lomell is a despicable "director." All of his "movies" are like this with their below home movie quality. Everything associated with this individual is vile except for The Boogeyman, a movie he made in 1980. I don’t know how the man responsible for that is also responsible for the tripe he’s been releasing the last several years. Speaking of releasing, how in the hell is a well respected studio like Lion’s Gate picking this sh*t up and releasing it? Not just this "movie," but several others. Does Mr. Lomell have some heavy dirt on the heads of Lion’s Gate? Please, please put a stop to this. Man-kind has enough atrocities in this world without Ulli Lomell’s "movies" polluting video stores. To my fellow horror fans, if you are in a store and see a Ulli Lomell dvd, unless it is called The Boogeyman, do not touch it, do not even look at it. As a matter of fact, run screaming in the opposite direction.

Special Features: Audio Commentary by Ulli Lomell, Producer Nola Roeper and Associate Editor Christian Behm, Bonus Footage, Still Gallery -Neil

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HAUNTED FOREST


HAUNTED FOREST

An uneventful, tiresome movie about a group of people looking for a f*cking tree. The tree holds the body of Satinka, a young Native American girl, who took refuge inside the tree after some pioneers murdered her lover and set fire to the forest. In exchange for her protection, the spirit of the tree took over her body to seek revenge on anyone who entered the forest. All of this is prevalent in the last 20 minutes of the movie. The hour before is spent watching these people walk around the forest looking for each other and the tree. This movie would have been much better off as a half hour episode of some horror/sci-fi/mystery tv show like The Twilight Zone. That’s a half hour with commercials. Anyone who decides to check this movie out should look forward to wasting 81 minutes of their life or an early bedtime as this movie will put you right to sleep.

Special Features: Previews -Neil

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DEAD MARY


DEAD MARY

A group of friends have a get together weekend at a cabin in the woods. After playing a game of Dead Mary, which is basically the same as Bloody Mary, the evil spirit of Mary is released and begins taking possession of the group one by one. The trust between the friends completely dissipates when no one can tell if people are who they say they are or victims of Dead Mary. Overall, I would say Dead Mary is a mixed bag. It delivers in the horror department, but is bogged down by some of the drama on display. It’s admirable that an effort was put in for deeper character development, but in the end we don’t learn much beyond their sex lives. I’d say it was necessary to show the relationships between everyone for a maximum effect when they turn on each other, but the back stories didn’t provide much to get know the characters and to care about them. The main couple is Kim and Matt who had an open relationship, but are currently split up. Next, is the married couple Amber and Dash. Dash has checkered past with cheating on Amber and treating her like a doormat while Amber might be hiding secrets of her own. Then, there’s Baker and his new, younger girlfriend Lily. Nothing exciting there. Finally, we have Eve who is single and tends to go for taken men. All the actors do a good job in having the audience believe they’ve been friends for ten years. They handled the material well and did they most they could with it. I think the horror element of the story is very strong, but it takes over 40 minutes to get there. It has an obvious Evil Dead similarity to it, but goes in a slightly different direction. There is some good gore, some of it shown, sometimes effectively implied mostly by sound effects and the reactions of the characters. While Dead Mary is a good horror movie it could have been a little tighter. While some of the exposition was needed, a lot only dragged the movie in places. Especially in the scenes placed between the horror moments. It’s totally necessary to have them, but they were too long. I feel it would have benefitted the movie to sacrifice roughly ten minutes. Despite it’s being a tad unbalanced, Dead Mary is worthwhile viewing even if only once. I also can’t help myself in sharing this little piece of dialogue between Baker and a possessed Dash that I found most amusing:

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want you to stopping stabbing me in the goddamn face with garden tools!"

Special Features: The Making Of Dead Mary, Music Video, Trailers -Neil

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BLOOD RANCH


BLOOD RANCH

Four friends and a hitchhiker they picked up are on their way to Nevada. Along the way they accidentally hit a girl standing in the road. They decide to take the girl, unable to speak from some sort of shock, to the hospital. On the way there, they are chased by a black van that forces them off the road. They figure the van was after the girl who must’ve escaped. With the car busted the group decides to go for help while one stays with the mystery girl and the car. They come to a place called The Web lead by Spider, a cheap knock-off of Otis from House Of 1000 Corpses. The Web turns out to be a place of torture, murder, rape and other sick acts by a group of sick people. Back at the car the girl, Megan, confesses to Jason, the guy who stayed with her, about her ordeal at The Web. From there, it’s off to the ranch in an effort to save everyone before they’re killed if they haven’t been killed already. While Blood Ranch is by no means tame, it’s not as shocking as it tries to be. There is nothing here that hasn’t been seen before. There are remnants from other horror movies like House Of 1000 Corpses, Strangeland, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There is also a chainsaw scene similar to that of Scarface and the line "You’re all gonna die out there" which is almost identical to a line in The Exorcist. It’s even said by a young girl wearing a nightgown in the same monotonous tone. Only difference is this girl holds on to her liquids. One thing that stands out in this movie is the acting. The few actors who give decent performances are overshadowed by a slew of overacting which after awhile gets unbearably annoying. There were also one or two people who still need to work on honing their craft, although there was nothing obscenely horrid in the acting department. Even though there isn’t much of anything original about Blood Ranch, I can at least say at best it’s an okay movie. If you’re really into this kind of horror you may really like this movie. Otherwise, you might want to stick with the movies from which it borrows.

Special Features: Trailer -Neil

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September 27, 2007

DAWN OF THE LIVING DEAD

 

 

This film was originally released under the title “Curse Of The Maya” according to IMDB. That title is far more appropriate than the one it was released under. Dawn Of The Living Dead just screams like something trying to capitalize off something it is not. It has nothing to do with the Romero films, it isn’t in the same league as the Romero films and for me it just reads like false advertising portraying it has something to do with those classics.

            The premise behind this film is that a couple, a patient from a psych ward and her doctor turned fiancé, inherit a house in the middle of the desert. Thinking this would be a good way for Renee to get straight, they move to this house, which turned out to be an old safe house for South America illegals. But the true history of the house was that a family of Mayan immigrants was murdered at the house and not their zombie ghost spirits haunt the house and eat anyone who comes within a small distance of the house.

            Rene and Jeffery meet a local wind farmer named Michael and his co-worker Herardo (played by none other than Todd Bridges). Rene and Michael have an affair of Rene gets in a fight with Jeffery and he leaves her in the house alone. Rene quickly finds out why the house is abandoned and she needs to lay the zombie family to rest before they kill her and everyone else.

            The effects leave a lot to be desired. The acting pretty much redefines the word bad and even the sex scenes, usually the shining moment in films like this, are ho hum at best. Amanda Baumann, who plays Rene, isn’t entirely ugly, but she is no beauty queen either. David Heavener, who plays Michael, also wrote, directed and produced the film. I for one think he took on too much, as none of it is particularly good. The camera angels are weird, the production is often weak and the outdoor shots might as well have been done on video the way some of it is blown out. This is a prime example of what has become possible through the direct to video market.

 

Bonus Features: There is a trailer and a short behind the scenes documentary/interview, mostly a lot of chest puffing from Heavener about why he shot the picture on film instead of video. -Myk

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September 23, 2007

FROM BEYOND

From Beyond DVD

From Beyond

It's taken us 20 years to get this one back in print, much less on DVD, but here it is, and in a restored directors cut. Oh, my pineal gland can hardly stand it!

“From Beyond” was Stuart Gordon's follow-up to his highly influential “Re-Animator”, and like that film is based, with many liberties taken, on an H.P. Lovecraft story. This one tells the tale of Dr.'s Crawford Tillinghast (Jefferey Combs) and Edward Pretorious, who have been working on a machine called “the resonator”. One night they get it to work and it reveals, by stimulating the brain, creatures that exist around us all the time. Without the resonator they cannot see us, and we cannot see them, and thank god for that because once they do...it's ugly, guys. Heads bitten off, translucent leeches biting faces, nasty stuff. When Tillinghast finds himself put away for the murder of Pretorious (who was in fact killed by one of the invisible creatures) it's up to Dr. Katherine McMichaels (Barbara Crampton) and Officer Brownlee (Dawn of the Dead's Ken Foree) to find out what happened. They bring Tillinghast back to the resonator to attempt to recreate the experiment that killed Pretorious and from there they discover all is not well when one of the creatures “from beyond” has eaten a head that contains the brain of a brilliant, but perverse, human.

“From Beyond” is one of the absolute best horror films of the entire 1980s. It's a real brilliant work of storytelling, and I think, Stewart Gordon's best film. Maybe the film never was as truly scary as it could have been (it's certainly got it's moments though, still) but, to this reviewer, it's one of the most fascinating and interesting stories told in a horror film. There's a lot of psycho-sexual, scientific jargon to take in about stimulated pineal glands, and the inner workings of a strange dimesion that exists all around us. In an lesser film, with a bad script, director and actors that could fall flat or even worse be almost incomprehensible. In “From Beyond”, it's enthralling. Only enhancing a great script and skilled director are the performances of Jefferey Combs and Barbara Crampton. Combs plays a very nervous man, highly disturbed by the things he's not only witnessed but helped unleash. Unlike his Herbert West, Comb's Tillinghest is sympathetic and a victim of his own work. His work in “From Beyond” should be held with as much regard as his work in “Re-Animator”.

“From Beyond” is a witty, faced-paced, scary and, until now, a tragically little scene chapter in 80's horror. This DVD finally gives it it's due. For way too long this film has been passed around in bad VHS dubs at horror and fan conventions. The picture in the DVD looks damn near perfect, which is important since this is such a colorful film. Included are several brief featurettes about the making of “From Beyond”. Most interesting is the one on how the previously cut footage was found after being assumed lost for nearly 20 years. There is also a great cast and director commentary that's energetic and funny, and makes you wish these guys were all making another movie together.

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September 22, 2007

HOMECOMING: MASTERS OF HORROR

Masters of Horror: Homecoming

Masters of Horror: Homecoming

A look at Joe Dante's early career indicates that here is a director of great promise. His first solo film as director was Piranha, an admitted Jaws ripoff that transcended its cheapjack Corman studio budget to become a decent horror flick. From there, Dante made what I consider his finest work, The Howling, a werewolf flick with groundbreaking special effects and some legitimate scares. He followed that with his most popular film, the enormously fun Gremlins. After those three movies, though, things get awfully sketchy. Dante only directed three movies in the 1990s. His output in the millennium... well, I'll just say that his last feature film was in 2003, and that was a dreadful Looney Toons movie.

In recent years, most of Dante's output has been on television. This includes Homecoming, his first outing in the Masters of Horror series. Homecoming has an intriguing premise: all the dead soldiers of America's past and present are rising from the grave as zombies, intent to vote a warmongering president out of office. Okay, so voting zombies might not sound too terrifying, but they cause some monstrous chaos, as monsters are supposed to do. The inherent problem with Homecoming is its preachiness. I understand that horror movies can be a vehicle to reflect and comment on social injustices. But here, Dante's hand is too heavy. Instead of being subtle, Dante crams the message down my throat to the point where, even if I agree with his point, I'm annoyed at him for pushing it. The one saving grace of this episode is the performance of Dante favorite Robert Picardo. Picardo can be funny and threatening at the same time. He nails the performance as a sleazy political aide.

Though the series itself was uneven, the first season of Masters of Horror provides plenty of great extras, and this disc is no exception. Start off with a 24 minute conversation with Dante that serves as a career retrospective. Then there's the 22 minute Working with a Master, in which various actors from Dante's movies comment on working with him and the movies they produced. Combine these two extras and you've got some great insight into Dante's career, even with the annoying antics of Corey Feldman. There are three onset interviews with the principal actors of Homecoming, a script to screen function, which is kind of hard to explain, and a Behind the Scenes, which is basically just raw footage of Dante directing. There's a short interview conducted by Mick Garris from the early 1980s and a bunch of trailers and stills to round out the disc. The biggest sin of these extras is a commentary by the screenwriter Sam Hamm. Joe Dante's commentaries are always a fun ride, but sadly he's not included here. A shame.

Joe Dante's career never really fulfilled the promise of his first three films. As a huge fan of both Dante's and zombies, I found Homecoming not to be a Dante classic, but a decent addition to his body of work. Had he leaned back from preaching, Homecoming could have been a much better effort. But it still would not have reached the potential he displayed earlier in his career.

-- Phil Fasso

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BREED, THE

The Breed

The Breed

A lot of time marketing companies look for little quotes in reviews they can use on the DVD box. How about:

“Ah, “The Breed”! It's a lot like “The Birds” except with dogs and retarded people.”

How's that?

“The Breed” comes with cinematic red flags popping out all over it's DVD box. First, it sat around for about 2 years before it's DVD release. Also, it's got the dubious distinction of being of those Wes Craven Productions, so it's got a pedigree that includes “Wishmaster”, “Mindripper”, and “Dracula 2000”. Finally, the writers have one other notable credit, the John Candy comedy “Who's Harry Crumb?”. Things aren't looking so hot for this one, are they?

What's most exciting was that this is a pack-of-killer-dogs-on-an-island movie. We haven't had one of those since I can remember, like what was the last one? (1977, actually, “The Pack”, it opened 3 days after “The Car”. Eat my brains and gain my knowledge, folks.)

Killer dog movies rock, and because dogs aren't an unrealistic threat, just watch the evening news. Killer domestic dogs have made great monsters in movies before from “Cujo” to “Man's Best Friend” to, um, “Zoltan: Hound of Dracula”. Ok, then, ah yes, and moving onward...

Well, things get off to a pretty good start on “The Breed”. A group of college friends land on an island via seaplane (you've got one in the backyard too, right?) to visit Daddy's Cabin On The Strange Island With the Abandoned Research Facility. We know they're going to have to deal with pack of wild dogs because the movie opened with one of those handy pre-credit sequences involving a now-assumed dead couple-in-a-yacht. There's the token 10-15 minutes of greetings, salutations, and hey where's the corkscrew before we get to the first dog attack.

The first attack comes on brutal and fast and sets the pace for the rest of the film. Here's where the movie finally moves into gear. I'm so impressed by this one fact: Real dogs, guys, real dogs.The movie uses nothing but real dogs in these scenes. If there was a CGI dog in this whole movie, I missed it, they fooled me.

Once it's past the “Oh, shit! Dogs!” moments, the second act of “The Breed” is actually scary. A large part of the film is dedicated to the cast being trapped in the cabin while trying to plan their escape off the island. Here's where we get a few really choice set-pieces. One involving an attempted rooftop escape with a cable attached to a garage is pretty damn good. Also, when the cast is roaming the woods and the dogs start to appear out of every nook: In the brush, behind you, on the tree things are really rather frightening. There's one particular “Holy crap” moment involving Michelle Rodriguez, a large German Shepard, and a bow-and-arrow that took even me by surprise. I will say no more. Director Nick Mastandrea (who cuts his teeth on films with Romero and Craven) handles these scenes exceptionally well.

But...the films got some problems. Some things don't work because we're asked to believe our friends, which include a medical student are complete numbskulls. No amount of decent set-up is ever going to convince me that you'd be afraid of two dogs, a good 20 feet, chasing you in a lake. Look, man. Dogs don't swim. They “doggie paddle”. It's laughable moment that a worse film wouldn't recover from.

Also, once they get this car in the garage started they never shut the sunroof and at one point fail to roll the passenger side window back up. I mean, COME ON! ARGH!!! I know, I know what they were going for. I know that the stupid dog bursting through the open car window moment had to happen but, but....but did these people have to be so damn stupid?

I know what you're thinking, “They can't be that brainless, can they, Mike? Like senseless enough to go into the basement alone to change a fuse after they're trapped by the dogs?” Yea, that dumb.

Also, we have to thank the writers for coming up with another thankless Token Black Character who has nothing better to do in the movie than be a 5th wheel, says things like “Now that's what I'm talkin' about”, “Won't you let a brother...”, and be completely fucking annoying. Come on writers, it's the 21st century. We can do better than this with our black characters in horror movies. I won't even blame the actor, it's not his fault the character was written that way.

Finally, everything completely goes to the dogs (I had to!) when the movie attempts to explain why these mutts are the way they are. Something about using the rabies virus and DNA and...look guys, seriously, you had an island full of angry German Shepards. That was scary enough. Way to bungle the entire 3rd act, which could have had some great escape sequence with the “let's go explore the Abandoned Research Facility and find out why” routine. If I'm ever caught on an island of killer dogs, I don't care why they've just ate my friends neck, just get me the hell home.

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September 21, 2007

SUPERNATURAL: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON


SUPERNATURAL: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON.

I kind of like the show SUPERNATURAL. I recall last year renting the entire First Season just to get a feel for what the show was about. It’s centers around two brothers, Dean and Sam Winchester who go from town to town hunting demons and various other supernatural beings, while looking for their father as well as the demon that killed their mother and who in essence sent them on this path to being with. Sure, there are moments of cheese (mostly in some of the dialogue), but if you’re a horror fan, then the pros far outweigh the cons. In the first season alone, the brothers go up against a Wendigo, Bloody Mary, poltergeists, demons, shapeshifters, phantoms, the infamous “Hookman”, a killer scarecrow, haunted houses and more. So, I was intrigued and curious to see what Season Two had to offer.

After the first couple of episodes, I honestly wasn’t sure if this was going to match the quality of the first season in terms of storytelling and finding cool “horror” themed tie-ins, but by the 4th or 5th episode it was clear that this was going to be an even better season. Sure, there are still plenty of cheese moments, but between the brother’s perfect on-screen chemistry (actors Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles) and the various “horror” subjects tackled from episode to episode, I found myself thoroughly entertained and eagerly anticipating the box set’s lead up to the season finale. Let’s take a look at the highlights:

In Episode 2: EveryBody Loves A Clown, the Winchester brothers investigate a series of mysterious deaths surrounding a carnival site. Turns out it’s a ghost who appears as a “killer clown”. (That’s right, fiends! A killer clown episode!) Episode 3: Bloodlust introduces vampires for the first time to the show, as well as a vampire hunter who plays a part later in the season. Episode 4: Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things – First off, has a killer title (obviously a nod to the Bob Clark film of the same name) and features a girl come back from the dead (Tamara Feldman from HATCHET!) for vengeance. In Episode 5: Simon Says, the brothers encounter a killer with the ability of persuasion.

Episode 7: The Usual Suspects find the boys captured by the police and interrogated by Detective Ballard (a GREAT appearance by The Exorcist’s Linda Blair). This was one of Season Two’s strongest, but I warn you, they spoil it with a cheesy “pea-soup” joke before the episode is finished. Crossroad Blues: Episode 8 is a unique story. It follows several people whom have sold their soul for something in return, ala blues legend Robert Johnson. Episode 9: Croatoan involved an entire town getting infected by a undetectable demon virus. This one’s their nod to “THE THING”.

Episode 13: Houses Of The Holy has the boys looking into an avenging angel? Do angels really exist and would one actually influence people to kill? Other episodes (don’t want to give away which) have exorcisms and a reality-altering man who conjures everything up from UFO’s to giant alligators to chainsaw wielding maniacs! Episode 17: Heart finally tackles a horror subject I was waiting for… werewolves! And the season finale is a two-parter called All Hell Breaks Loose. (Self explanatory.)

Overall, Season Two of Supernatural was a lot of fun and a lot better then I anticipated. The two brothers are both really likable, great characters and although they have to deliver the occasion cheesy line here and there, it’s forgivable considering they fight everything from killer clowns to werewolves to the ghosts of highway serial killers. Special features on the box set include episode specific commentaries, a making-of featurette for All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2, Jared’s original screen test for the role of Sam and a gag reel.

The box sets are a little on the expensive side (ranging between $50-$60 bucks at most retailers), but both seasons are definitely worth a rental if you’re curious. And Amazon often has sales on the box sets. Check the link below. –Robg.

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DEATH PROOF: EXTENDED AND UNCUT



DEATH PROOF: EXTENDED AND UNRATED.


I absolutely loved the entire GRINDHOUSE experience when it was released theatrically back in April of this year. Myself and the entire Icons crew caught it at the AMC on 42nd Street in Manhattan and it was just a solid 3 hours of pure exploitive entertainment. So, I was nervous when The Weinstein Company opted to separate both movies for the DVD releases and delete the awesome trailers that came before and in between both features. (I’m SURE they’ll eventually release the version from theaters, hence forcing us to fork over more cash for the double-dip.) But in the meantime, we’re being treated with extended full-length versions of both GRINDHOUSE features, completely uncut.

The first release is Quentin Tarantino’s DEATH PROOF, which the filmmaker himself has often described as a “slasher” film but without the knife, instead the killer uses his car. For those that haven’t seen or heard anything about it yet, here’s a brief synopsis. DEATH PROOF is about two sets of girls being stalked by a creepy, former stuntman who calls himself (ironically enough) “Stuntman Mike” (played with sinister glee by Kurt “Snake Plissken” Russell!). The first set of girls are a group of friends including famous radio personality Jungle Julia (played by Sydney Poitier) and Shanna (played by Cabin Fever alumni Jordon Ladd) who take out their friend “Butterfly” (Vanessa Ferlito) all through out Austin, TX. (She’s visiting from Brooklyn as you’ll be able to tell from her accent almost immediately.) Pam (Rose McGowen) also happens to be at the Texas Chili Parlor where Stuntman Mike shows up and manages to swindle a lap-dance out of Butterfly. From there on, some wacky stuff ensues involving the way Stuntman Mike deviously uses his “death proof” automobile. To give away anymore would take away from all the fun, especially for the second half of DEATH PROOF.

So, how it is? I think it’s a blast! I enjoyed it when it played after PLANET TERROR as part of GRINDHOUSE, and now with the extra footage put back in, it flows and feels like a more complete movie. Stuntman Mike’s motivations are explained a little bit better, and all the girls (from both groups) feel more fleshed out now that we have a little more time to get to know them in this extended cut. I know some people either love or hate Quentin’s excessive use of dialogue, but I usually love it. I will say this though, the first time I saw this movie, I had no idea what the second group of girls were talking about half the time. Granted, they’re all stuntwomen (Zoe Bell being a REAL one!), so how the hell would I know how stuntwomen talk? However, on the second viewing (which was for this DVD release) knowing exactly how the movie was going to play out, I enjoyed it way more then on my initial viewing. The entire movie is worth it for the incredible car chase in the 3rd act. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. And with Zoe Bell playing herself and doing all her own stunts, it’s pretty amazing to see close up shots of her face as she’s holding on for dear life on the hood of a car. I can’t imagine Tarantino fans not loving this.

Special feature-wise, the DVD offers some goodies. “Stunts On Wheels” offers a bit of behind the scenes stuff, and focuses primarily on the stunt driver brought in to pull off the impressive sequences in DEATH PROOF. “Kurt Russell As Stuntman Mike” is a fun interview segment with Kurt, as well as Quentin all talking about the character and Kurt’s take on it. I’m sure Stuntman Mike will go down as one of Russell’s most memorable movie villains. “Finding Quentin’s Gals” and “The Guys of Death Proof” offer some funny insight into how the casting process went for both the guys and gals of the flick. Rosario Dawson and Tracie Toms talk about how they prepared well in advance and auditioned together, while Quentin mentions having remembered several of the actors from casting auditions on other gigs, such as his CSI episode. Eli Roth also chimes in about how difficult it was to make fun of Kurt Russell for one of his scenes with the acting legend a mere few feet away. “Introducing Zoe Bell” is a great little introduction into Quentin’s stunt gal and DEATH PROOF lead Zoe Bell. There’s also a trailer for the documentary DOUBLE DARE on the disc, which features former Wonder Woman stuntwoman Jeannie Epper taking on protégé Zoe Bell and training her. The third act primarily consists of her getting the gig as Uma’s stuntwoman in KILL BILL. (She does all the ass-kicking!) This trailer did its job, because I immediately put in on my Netflix rental queue! Last but not least is a featurette about Quentin’s editor Sally Menke. She doesn’t appear in the short clip, instead it’s Quentin singing her praises and then a gag reel of the cast sending their hellos to Sally at the end of takes.

Overall, a great little DVD release. Can’t wait for Rodriquez’s PLANET TERROR, and I hope ONE day, we’ll get the full double-feature as we saw it in theaters. Where there’s money to be made, there’s a new special edition DVD right around the corner. - Robg.

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September 20, 2007

BLOODRAYNE 2: DELIVERANCE

Bloodrayne 2

BLOODRAYNE 2

It's must be Dr. Boll's year.


The original film was, while no masterpiece, an OK 18th century vampire b-movie, with a pretty impressive cast doing their best in a fairly retarded movie. I liked it in the way you like a “Deathstalker” movie. Unlike the good doctors' previous effort, “Alone in the Dark” or “House of the Dead”, it wasn't incomprehensible and Tara Reid was nowhere to be found. Besides, I have no emotional connection to whatever video game it was based off of so I could have cared less about how faithful it was to the source material.

It was a huge flop at the box-office, but nevertheless, Uwe Boll says, “Here comes the Rayne again” and flashed us forward 200 years and 3000 miles away from Romania to the Wild West town of Deliverance.

Zach Ward (previously seen in Boll's “Postal”, “Transformers” but who you know best as Scut Farkus from “A Christmas Story”) is the outlaw Billy the Kid, who happens to be an old vampire. He's pretty nasty. He's evil, all right, because he eats up families. He kidnaps all the kids in Deliverance, and holds them hostage. He's hoping to keep the parents in check until a new railway comes through the town offering up lots of fresh blood to build up his army of outlaw cowboy vampires. Oh, what can I say? I freakin' love vampire cowboys! Give me cowboy vampires and little kids strung up on a make-shift gallows and I'm a happy horror fan. Of course, as you might have guessed Rayne is on her way to town and she's got some ass to kick.


And let me tell you, if you want hot half-vampire chicks, then look no further than Natassia Malthe as fantastic as Rayne, she's a fine replacement for Kristianna Lokken. I liked Zach Ward better in “Postal”, and I'm not sure he's entirely well-suited for villain roles, but he does an affable job.


That's it. Pretty simple, and really what more do you need? The film is a lot smaller in scope than the first “Bloodrayne”, which I think works to the advantage of the movie. If I had to compare it to anything I'd say it's a lot like one of those old “Full Movie” movies that Charles Band used to put out in the late 80's and early 90's before that company turned into a big joke. It's a low-budget b-movie that's a hell of a lot better than it should be. It's a little long for my tastes (saw the unrated version, which could really be about 10 minutes shorter) but overall not bad. Not worth buying but catch it on cable or make it a rental.

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September 16, 2007

Dexter: The First Season



DEXTER: THE FIRST SEASON.

Never have I fallen so in love with a show, (and so fast) as I have with Showtime’s DEXTER! I didn’t catch it on its initial airing, but thankfully with the advent of DVD, I was able to see the entire first season in one shot.

First, the basic story of the show. SIX FEET UNDER’s Michael C. Hall plays Dexter Morgan, a forensic “blood-splatter” analyst for the Miami police department by day, and by night? … a serial killer. But not just your average serial killer. He only kills killers. People that get away on technicalities or allude the police. People who deserve it. His habit was molded by his step-father Harry, a former detective, who after finding several dead animals was able to figure out exactly what Dexter was and would ultimately become. “If you have to do it, son. Do it to people that deserve it.” And with that, we’re off!

This show is so well acted, so well written and at times really, really funny that I can’t contain my excitement while reviewing it. The following should be a testament to the show’s strength in terms of quality. I initially started out by renting the first few episodes to check the show out. I often do that with shows I’m curious about just to test them out and see what they’re all about. See how they feel to me. See what they establish in the first couple of episodes. By the time I made it to the second disc, I simply could not wait to see how the season would continue and ultimately end. I ran to Best Buy and bought the whole season box set. After I finished season one? I re-watched it again from the beginning, and shortly thereafter I went to the book store to purchase the 2 novels the show was based on. (Both by author Jeff Lindsay, if you’re curious.) I LOVE the character of Dexter Morgan.

There’s several different storylines we follow during this first season. For one, we have Dexter’s relationship with his loving sister Deb (played by Emily Rose actress Jennifer Carpenter), an on the field officer that desperately is trying to climb up the corporate latter to become a homicide detective (Much like their father, Harry). Dexter also has a girlfriend, Rita (the beautiful Julie Benz), who has two kids and a troubled past with a former husband who was a drug user and an abuser. (Both to her and substances.) Then there’s Sergeant Doakes (played by Erik King), the one and only police officer that gets the creeps around Dexter and senses him for what he really is. Doakes has always got his eyes on Dexter. Last but not least, the police department is investigating “The Ice Truck” killer, who leaves neatly and systematically cut up body parts through town that are completely bloodless. His methods and madness completely baffle the police, yet intrigue Dexter. So much so that the “Ice Truck” killer is the only one that knows who Dexter really is and what he does. He leaves him chopped up Barbie dolls as a means of saying, “Hey. Wanna play?” Do they have some sort of connection? A killer’s bond? Or is the “Ice Truck” killer just playing?

The star of the show has to be Michael C. Hall who does an amazing job as Dexter Morgan. Funny, likable and impossible to resist, it’s no wonder that Showtime advertises the show being about “everyone’s favorite serial killer”. Being a killer, Dexter lacks any real emotion. So it’s fun as hell to hear his inner monologue as he tries his best to understand his relationship with his girlfriend Rita, or even with his sister, Deb.

There are also a handful of twists through out the season, most of which kept me on marathon sessions, going from episode to episode non-stop just to see how they’d resolve themselves. The season finale (and episode leading up to it) are absolutely fantastic television, and I felt that season one ended on a very satisfying note. Should the show end here? It’d be perfect. BUT since season two is just about to kick off, I welcome further exploits in the life of Dexter Morgan.

Special Features: There are several special features listed on the back of the box, 99 percent of which sadly are not on the disc. All we’ve got is a featurette titled “Witnessed In Blood – A True Murder Investigation” which is pretty self explanatory. No matter, while some features would’ve been nice, the actual show itself it totally worth it. DEXTER gets my highest possible recommendation. –Robg.

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Blade: House Of Chthon



BLADE: HOUSE OF CHTHON: UNRATED.

When I first heard that New Line and Spike TV were planning a BLADE television series, I honestly wasn’t sure what to think. Sure, I enjoyed all 3 BLADE features, but didn’t the story essentially close itself out by the end of the 3rd movie? Was there more to tell? Could someone replace Wesley Snipes who simply owned that role? The idea of an on-going series became more interesting once it was announced that BLADE screenwriter (and Director on BLADE: TRINITY) David Goyer was penning the pilot, along side comic book writer Geoff Johns. I didn’t even realize the show aired until I received this DVD for review, the unrated PILOT extending into a full-length feature.

So, how was it? It’s good! Not great - frankly nothing can top Guillermo Del Toro’s BLADE 2 in my humble opinion, but the series pilot is really, really good. Better then I honestly expected it to be. It’s interesting how this could fit into the BLADE universe. Technically it could be a sequel to the first film. Or it could take place after the events of the 3rd. I like to look at this as taking place after the trilogy. The pilot centers around Krista Starr (played by Jill Wagner), a recent war-vet who’s looking for answers revolving her brother’s suspicious recent death. Along the way she stumbles upon Marcus, a public figure and also the leader of an elite group of vampires on a quest for a cure to their weaknesses. Marcus conducts experiments on other low-level vampires. Also in the picture (naturally) is Blade, who is hunting for Marcus and his crew with his trustworthy side-kick/weapons designer Shen.  Once Krista becomes infected, Blade uses a serum to help her hold the thirst at bay, and offers her to be a double agent in his mission to take out the vampires of the House of Chthon. This essentially is the jumping point for the entire series, so although this easily plays as a theatrical film, it leaves open a ton of questions and ideas which I assume were meant to be developed as the series continued.

The pros: I’m surprised by this take on the Blade universe. It’s different but not totally alien to what we know from the films. Kudos to writers Goyer and Johns, both of whom obviously know and love the material. The vampires are also not necessarily the run-of-the-mill “bad vampires”. In fact, in one scene, Marcus gives a speech to Krista after first turning her explaining how now she’s truly alive & can appreciate the beauty of the world, which is quite touching and well spoken. Speaking of, Jill Wagner’s probably my favorite member of the cast. Beautiful, tough and torn between different devotions, never quite knowing which side she should be on. Nice set up for her character for this season, and nicely acted. Also of note, a nice uncredited cameo role from Randy Quaid who plays Melvin Caylo, one-time friend of Blade’s mentor Whistler and the man who explains Blade’s backstory to Krista. (And any viewers not familiar with the films.) The action is well orchestrated, and there are some nice gory bits here, I’m sure mostly added in for this “uncut” DVD edition. Kurt “Sticky Fingaz” Jones does a suitable enough job. Speaking into Wesley Snipes shoes is no easy task, but he does an ok enough job, and brings his own take to the character by going more with a street-fighting style rather then martial arts. Overall, the pilot’s pretty decent. It’s not without its slight flaws. But I’m sure if you’re a fan of the movies, you’ll dig this.

Special Features: There is a great 7 part documentary titled “Turning Blade” that extensively covers the production of the show. It includes chats with the writers explaining their intentions with the Blade character, as well as several cast interviews and more. In different segments, they cover Blade’s weapons, looks and even coat design. It’s a worthwhile doc and far better then the average 2-3 minute featurette that’s usually attached to TV pilot DVD’s. Also included are two feature length commentary tracks. One with director Peter O’Fallon and the other with writers David Goyer and Geoff Johns. –Robg.

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Night Of The Demons 2



NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2.

Wow! A horror sequel from my teens that I actually don’t think I’d ever watched before! And it’s so odd. Coming off of watching several DVD’s in a row, it amazes me that crap from the late 80’s/early 90’s is FAR better then crap of today. At least back then, people were inventive with their horror films (and horror sequels). They’d try radical things. They’d make certain situations funny. And they’d actually rely on practical make-up FX! This movie’s got hot chicks. Demons. A nun who kicks ass with a ruler. Some good laughs. An attempted sacrifice. Boobs. Neat FX gags (courtesy of Steve Johnson). Lesbian kissing. More demons. And a killer named Angela! What more could you ask for?

Ok, this isn’t the most ground-breaking serious horror film from the early 90’s, but guess what? It’s fun! AND entertaining! I was far more entertained watching this then I was the last few new DVD’s that told very “serious” stories.

While St.Rita’s Catholic school is gearing up for their annual “Halloween” party, bad girl Shirley and her friends decide to take the party elsewhere off campus. Namely the old Hull House, where legend has it, Angela Franklin had her infamous party years back, which led to several deaths at the hands of demons! The group trick Melissa “Mouse” Franklin (Angela’s little sister) into joining them. Between student Perry (Robert Jayne) messing with demonology and the girls snatching lipstick from the old Hull House, Angela’s ready to make her grand return for another party and bring some uninvited demons along for the ride!

Of note for this flick? The babes. Bibi played by Cristi Harris is the lead, and she’s absolutely gorgeous. I wish she did more genre stuff because I’d pay to see anything she’s in! Her best friend is Terri played by none other then Christine Taylor (Mrs. Ben Stiller!) in one of her first roles. Ironically enough, one of the characters jokingly calls her “Marsha” at one point, who she later went on to play in The Brady Bunch movie. Bad girl Shirley is played by Zoe Trilling, who made brief appearances in other genre movies such as DR. GIGGLES, THE BORROWERS and NIGHT TERRORS. Ameilia Kinkade is back as Angela, a role she later reprised again for NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 3. (Hope that one sees a DVD release too!) (Fright Fact – She currently works as an “animal communicator” and claims to have the psychic ability to talk to animals! So says IMDB!)

Also of note is the work of Steve Johnson. Really, there’s some solid “demon” FX in here, as well as a beheading and even at one point a “boobie-trapped” boobie grab! Not to be taken too seriously, NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2 is a fun horror movie for those drunken movie nights you may have with your buddies. –Robg.

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Final Draft


FINAL DRAFT.

Believe it or not, I kind of like James Van Der Beek. He was pretty decent in the Clive Barker produced flick THE PLAGUE (despite that film’s mess of an ending), I loved him in THE RULES OF ATTRACTION and even here, he gives a really solid performance. This movie however will leave most horror fans scratching their heads and for each of us, it’ll probably be for different reasons.

Van Der Beek plays Paul Twist, a screenwriter with one success under his belt who’s suffering from writer’s block. He meets frequently with his actor friend David for coffee to catch up and chat about their latest ideas. Paul remembers an experience from his childhood where he witnessed a clown performing a trick that went wrong and caused a fire which accidentally killed him. He wonders aloud what it must’ve been like for “Punchy the clown” to die in front of an audience and to have children laugh at him, assuming it was all part of his act. What would “Punchy” do? “He’d come back and kill off all those kids that laughed at him.” And with that thought, Paul’s got the perfect jumping point for his next screenplay. The only problem is, every time he sits down to write it, he draws a blank. He can’t make his “killer clown” story work. Eventually, he makes David lock him in his apartment literally until he finishes the screenplay. What follows is a torturous battle with Paul’s own demons and past. He begins seeing various people from his own personal past whom he incorporates as characters in the script. But then “Punchy the clown” begins appearing and killing off his imaginary characters. Is he going stir crazy? Or is he finally writing his masterpiece?

All of the above presents itself with plenty of great ideas to fill a feature up with, but sadly it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s a well written film. Anyone who writes knows the struggle of dealing with writer’s block and the demons you have to battle to sometimes get it done. (Hell, writing today’s batch of DVD reviews has been tough!) But I can’t imagine the average movie-goer (or renter) finding this premise interesting if they themselves have never battled to write something. Especially when that’s primarily what the movie is solely about. The filmmakers try to set it up so you wonder “Oh, is Punchy real? Is this all really happening? Or is it all in his head!” Well, he’s locked in his own apartment seeing figments of his imagination, so of course it’s not really happening. Why couldn’t we see a “Punchy The Clown” movie stem from this? Sure, we can still have the writer writing it, but this killer clown movie has a killer clown that never shows up or does anything. (The box cover is terribly misleading by having a giant clown face on the cover.) While the acting from this small cast is great, great acting just doesn’t make an interesting film. And after watching this once, I have no desire to watch it again because nothing really happens. It’s a horror film for writers who know the horrors of writers block. And that’s about it.

Special Features: There’s a making-of feature which features interview with Van Der Beek, writer Darryn Lucio (who also plays Paul’s friend David in the movie) and director Jonathan Dueck. They all seem fairly excited about doing something different then the average “killer clown” movie, but there’s no real killer clown in this movie to begin with. The DVD also features a music video. –Robg.

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Insatiable, The


THE INSATIABLE.

Damn these darned vampire movies! Ok, presentation is part of the whole package, right? So from now on, I’m opening the reviews with my thoughts on the cover artwork before anything else. After all, isn’t that what most of us look at first when we’re deciding on what to rent or buy? Take a look at the cover image above and the tagline. “Once you’ve tasted the afterlife, there’s no turning back.” This movie’s about as good as you think it is judging from the cover and tagline.

Now, the main reason I wanted to check this out is because the lead in it is Sean Patrick Flanery (THE BOONDOCK SAINTS, THE DEAD ZONE series), one of my favorite actors and it also features Michael Biehn. (He just rules.) And… that’s about it. I liked some of the cast, so I decided to give it a whirl. Flanery plays Harry Balbo, a geeky/sorta loser-ish salesman who witnesses a brutal murder at the hands of Tatiana, a local vampire who’s been ripping the heads off of victims in the area for several months now. Balbo becomes obsessed with what he witnessed and starts searching out vampire websites. Through the internet, he meets wheelchair bound vampire hunter Strickland (Biehn) who instructs him to track down Tatiana and kill her. However, when faced with the task at hand, Harry chickens out and instead plans an elaborate track using himself as bait to trap Tatiana in a steel cage in his basement. Intrigued and smitten by the girl, he can’t bring himself to kill her. He also can’t bare to watch her die, which she will if she doesn’t feed on fresh blood soon enough. He first tries to bring her a bunny, but it’s not good enough. She requires something bigger. Between her seductress nature, will she convince Harry to bring her some victims?

I didn’t really care to find out, but I did stick it out for the ending to find out regardless, and I was kind of disappointed. Ok, before anything… this is a well made film. Sean Patrick Flanery is great in it. It’s difficult for him to NOT be great in something. Even Michael Biehn, who only appears briefly, is actually really good too. I guess for me, I’m just so sick of the romanticized vampire. And in a weird way, this is a love story about Harry Balbo’s obsession with the girl (or in this case the vampire) he just can’t have. Charlotte Ayanna is pretty hot, but Tatiana didn’t really do anything for me as a character. I didn’t care about her or anyone else for that matter. (By the way, she’s also in another vampire flick THE THIRST.) So while it’s a well made film, and a tad above the average direct-to-DVD type stuff, this just ain’t my kind of vampire flick. For some of you out there, you may really dig it. This just wasn’t my thing.

Special Features: No features besides a slew of trailers for a bunch of flicks which will most likely all have terrible front cover DVD artwork. –Robg.

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September 10, 2007

SCREWFLY SOLUTION, THE: MASTERS OF HORROR (JOE DANTE)

 

The second season of Master’s of Horror has had its ups and downs in my opinion, but, The Screwfly Solution is about as up as it gets. As provocative as Dante’s first entry into the series (Homecoming) was, this as more than its equal. To begin with, because of a slick bit of casting, they sidestepped the Canadian laws that have limited some of their star power in the past. By casting Jason Priestly in one of the title roles, he fills the Canadian requirement of citizenship for actors. That allowed them to bring in Elliot Gould as well and then the very talented Kerry Norton to be the real star of the film.

Anne (Norton) is married to Allen (Priestly) and they are very happy. Allen works with Barney (Gould) and the two specialize in genetics and it’s effects on the environment. The actual discover a way to lower the Screwfly population (thus the title) and save many crops and livestock from a horrible swarming death. Not long after this, there is a rash of men slaughtering women. To the point that they close the Texas border because they think there is something contagious down there. The duo is called in and Allen leaves Anne and his daughter behind. Basically, humanity is becoming like the flies. Someone has found a way to sterilize humanity and lower the population. But who would do such a thing? The Russians? The Iraqis” No, it’s happening to them as well. It turns out the only way to stop the slaughter is to castrate men and lower their testosterone level. Barney does it, and Allen doesn’t and as he loses control he warns Anne as to what happens. It is up to Anne to survive with her daughter, but if her husband isn’t safe, how is any male?

The film is an amazingly scary look into Bio-engineering, bigotry, sexism and general hatred existing in humanity. Not to mention a sickening look at how man treats what he considers lower life forms. I can’t recommend this episode of Masters of Horror enough.

Special Features: There is a behind the scenes segment that looks at the filming of the show, a special effects documentary and an audio commentary with Dante and writer Sam Hamm, which is actually quite good.

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IVORY, THE (El Marfil)

 

Laguna Productions brings us the release of The Ivory (El Marfil). Laguna specializes in Spanish language films and this is one of their first launches into the horror market. The film was originally released in 2004 in Argentina, but doesn’t have any cast members that will mean anything to most Americans.

The film looks like an inexpensively shot production that almost exclusively happens in two rooms of a house. The story surrounds a family that is visited by a long lost friend that they actually believed to be dead. He shows up with a piece of ancient Ivory he found in a jungle that his old friend convinces him to leave. It turns out the Ivory amulet is jinxed, but grants wishes. The wishes just turn out exactly the way you want them to. As the family discusses whether or not to use the talisman, it comes out that a third friend had stopped by and only mother knew about it. She was entrusted with an old chest that held the Ivory, which of course starts a fight between husband and wife. While this is classified as a horror movie, it is more like a noir mystery film. There is next to no gore. There are next to no big scares, almost entirely consisting of mysticism and supernatural fright to further the plot line. This is one of the first South American films I have ever seen, so I am far from an expert, but the acting was decent. The shots left a little to be desired, that was the most amateurish aspect of the film. The film was grainy and there was some long slow parts, but the end was a nice twist. The story was based on the book “The Monkey’s Leg” by William Jacobs.

Special features: actually none. They list the dubbed English version as a special feature or you can watch in Spanish with subtitles.

DEMONS


Anchor Bay has re-released a budget version of this Dario Argento/ Lamberto Bava collaboration. The two best parts of this version of the dvd is the price, marked at a mere $14.95, and the new anamorphic transfer.

For those not familiar with the film, although I am sure that is few, the basic premise of this movie is that people are drawn into a free preview of a new film but a guy in a metal mask who people presume is just a promotional stunt. The film actually has no name that you ever find out, but it is a zombie/possession/horror movie nonetheless. After all the unsuspecting viewers file into the theater, the doors mysteriously lock, and every is stuck in the lobby which is highly decorated with movie posters including Argento’s own Four Flies On Grey Velvet, Terminator and AC/DC: Let There Be Rock. In addition, there is a mannequin on a motorcycle who is holding a mask much like the ticket solicitor. One high strung patron puts it on while goofing around and cuts herself on it. After this, life starts to mimic the film they are watching on the screen and shortly after, the bleeding film goer is a demon movie goer, who tries to kill everyone. Unlike a Romero film, once bitten, a victim turns into a demon almost instantly. The rest of the film turns into a survival film, as these types of films always do. But more importantly, how will the world fair when one of the demons escapes the theater? The soundtrack is an excellent mix of ‘80’s metal like Motley Crue, Scorpions and Accept and Claudio Simonetti’s genius scores. The film is a typical ‘80’s splatterfest that holds a wonderful place in my heart as a fun piece, even if it isn’t one of the more perfect films of the time. This also stars Fiore Argento, Dario’s lesser know daughter behind Asia.

Special features: the dvd features an audio commentary, but I am sure it is the same one from the last release and a very short behind the scenes feature which actually appeared as an extra on the first letterboxed video tape they released.

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September 06, 2007

DEEP RED

Deep Red

Deep Red (Profondo Rosso)

Italian horror is whole different breed from the American brand. Focusing less on unstoppable monsters the like of Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees, our Mediterranean friends focus more on chilling atmosphere, an unhealthy sense of mystery, and bizarre death scenes that really set the standard for just how unique and grotesque the end can be. I've always held Mario Bava's giallo films as the gold standard of Italian horror. Despite my personal leanings, the acknowledged master of the giallo is Dario Argento.

Most people look to Suspiria as Argento's greatest work. But I've always found Deep Red (Profondo Rosso, in Argento's native Italian) to be his masterpiece. Lacking the hokey witchcraft angle and confusing labyrinthine plot of Suspiria, Deep Red is a much more focused work that is legitimately chilling.

Deep Red begins with two recurring motifs: a child's song, and a ghastly murder. The film then takes us to an audience watching a renowned psychic. The woman senses a dark, disturbing force somewhere in the audience. Exhausted from the experience, she returns to her hotel, where she is creatively murdered. This murder set piece is exemplary of Argentos' work: it's gruesome, bloody, and distinctively twisted. Anyone who is a fan of Argento's would automatically identify a movie of his by the deaths, even if he or she didn't know he had directed it.

From here, David Hemdale (famous for Antonioni's art house murder flick Blowup) gets involved in the events that shape the film. Having witnessed the murder, he and the killer play a cat and mouse game, with Hemdale always seemingly one step behind. Add in an obligatory though odd romance with a reporter played by Daria Nicolodi (Argento's longtime girlfriend for years), and Hemdale heads toward his fateful final encounter with the killer.

Argento is not acknowledged as a master just for his trademark death scenes. The plot of Deep Red is one of the most tightly constructed I've ever seen in any genre of film. The way he goes about creating tension is astounding; note the recurring child song. As I was watching, I was terrified every time it chimed. And it reminded me constantly that there was something childlike though sinister about the killer. Also, look to the scene where Hemdale explores an old house, searching for clues about the killer; as night rolled in, I kept screaming at my TV for him to get out of that house. Once he finds some disturbing childhood paintings within a wall, I thought he was dead for sure. . Also, note the soundtrack. Argento's use of Goblin's score is as key a component as the score in Hitchcock's Psycho.

One thing that might turn fans off from this masterpiece is the odd dubbing/subtitles. Some of the film is dubbed rather badly; other parts have subtitles. Unfortunately, sometimes this happens within scenes. I don't understand that editorial choice at all.

What I really don't understand is the weak special features on this disc. For something that's supposed to celebrate the 25th anniversary of a film, this lineup is weak. The main event is an 11 minute interview with Argento, producer Bernardo Zapponi, and the members of Goblin. For a brief featurette, it's pretty informative, and enjoyable. But it is brief. And that's about it. A few trailers and some talent bios round out the disc. Nothing else.

Dario Argento crafted a top notch thriller that ranks among the best of all time. Creative deaths and a tight plot propel this film to a whole other level, and there are some legitimately creepy scenes throughout. Though this disc lacks the special features it so rightly deserves, it's worth a purchase, if only to get a different view of how horror movies can be, in the hands of a master.

-Phil Fasso

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September 05, 2007

FLESH EATER

Flesh Eater

Flesh Eater

An isolated farm house in Pennsylvania. A desperate group of people trapped inside. Zombies overrunning the countryside, with a hunger for human flesh. Bill Hinzman playing the Cemetery Ghoul. Vince Survinski playing a character named Vince, with a rifle and a surly attitude. But wait.... Teenagers on a hayride? Suddenly I realize I'm not watching some colorized version or remake of Night of the Living Dead. I'm watching the film it seems Hinzman was destined to write, produce, direct and star in. I'm watching Flesh Eater.

Okay, let me be upfront. Hinzman freely admits on this disc that he basically stole the Cemetery Ghoul from NOTLD and figured he could turn a profit on it. So this film is kind of like NOTLD light. Perhaps a little bit of the plot will explain it better than I can: a bunch of teens are out on a hayride when the driver takes them past a farmer taking down an old tree stump. Under the stump is a coffin with a heavy chain and deadbolt wrapped around it, and a weird, ritualistic phrase about the return of evil. The farmer, not following the warning anyone who's ever seen a horror movie would, breaks the chain and opens the coffin. The Cemetery Ghoul automatically awakens and goes on a human buffet, attacking some of the hayriders and several others over the course of 90 minutes.

Is this movie derivative of Romero's masterpiece? Yes. It's also poorly acted and scripted; watch the scene with the young couple in the barn where the girl just wants to have sex and the guy is reluctant! (Yes, this is a fantasy.) But on a visceral level, Flesh Eater delivers the goods. There's plenty of blood, gore and naked females. On that end, the film packs a punch and gives the audience what it would want from a monster film. My favorite part of the film is when Hinzman eats his own daughter! Yes, shameless Bill cast Heidi Hinzman as a 12-year-old victim.

The special features on the film are fair, considering what a low budget affair the film itself was. The highlight is the 35 minute featurette, Back into the Woods. Hinzman discusses his early career and sheds some light on the background and filming of the film. Special effects guy Gerard Gergely discusses details of his work, including how he accidentally had Hinzman bite into a real cow's heart. Producer and actor Andy Sands proves just how cheap low budget filmmakers can be. These stories are not terrible, but listening to these three for upwards of a half hour gets boring really fast. They don't seem to have so much enthusiasm for the project. The disc also presents the film's score over stills from the film; this was interesting. Also available are trailer for Flesh Eater and three of the worst films ever made (I'll argue with you if you like Fulci's Zombi 2). If trailers are meant to get me to watch a movie, they made me shun Flesh for the Beast and Blood Feast 2: All You Can Eat. The crown jewel of the special features is by far Hinzman's zombie pizza commercial. It's a funny romp! But as a friend pointed out the first time I watched this disc, it really should've been for Tombstone Pizza.

If you like zombie movies and have a sense of humor, you'll want to see Flesh Eater. Don't expect a masterpiece, but do watch it knowing you'll get some punch.

-Phil Fasso 

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