Halloween - What
Now?! (Dec.05) by Mike C.
| So,
what’s the future of the “Halloween” series
with the tragic killing of long-time producer Moustapha Akkad? Love
him or hate him, Akkad kept the “Halloween” series
running for nearly 30 years despite box-office ups and downs, through
a series of fairly consistent, albeit sometimes ridiculous sequels.
Now the Keeper of the Mask has passed, what will future “Halloween”
sequels look like? There are a number of possibilities I’d
like to explore… |
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One possibility is the return of John Carpenter. We know Debra
Hill didn’t get along with Akkad, and perhaps that would be the real
reason Carpenter has shied away from returning to his creation all these
years.
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How
do I see John Carpenter returning to “Halloween”?
Screw Jamie Lee Curtis. Michael Myers needs a new nemesis. No rappers.
No 75 year old actors. No siree…We need Snake Plisskin in “John
Carpenter’s Escape from Haddonfield”. I also suggest
putting Keith David behind the mask. Haddonfield. Kurt Russell.
Keith David. It’d be like a trifecta of John Carpenter amazing.
The shame is that this film would ultimately fail at the box-office
only to be appreciated exactly 10 years after its release. |
You what I was also thinking? What if you just got another studio to pick
up the Halloween series? New Line brought “Friday the 13th”
from Paramount. There are a number of ways I can see New Line Cinema putting
their stamp on the “Halloween” franchise:
| --In
2007 Dr. Loomis (Mike Myers) uses a time portal to travel back to
disco-licious 1978, seeks the help of Studio 54 owner Steve Rubell
(Mike Myers) to help stop sadistic serial killer Michael Myers (Mike
Myers) from murdering babysitters in a quiet Illinois town of Haddonfield. |
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--“Michael Vs. Frodo”: Peter Jackson will direct
as seemingly invincible army of tens of thousands of crossbow-bearing
CGI babysitters are systematically murdered by a 15 foot tall heavily
armored man in a white mask. |
| Ok,
that’s ridiculous, but what if one of the studios treating
horror seriously was able to get their hands on “Halloween”?
Would Lion’s Gate do right by “Halloween”?
They could probably help it look a lot darker than the recent sequels.
I doubt we’d have to worry about any aging former hip-hop stars
looking to advance their acting career. They’re sticking strictly
to aging boy-band members. “This is Lion’s Gate Films
calling Joey Fatone. Would you mind saying “We’re talking
about evil on two legs” for us? Just once?” |
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The
other possibility is that it’s time to consider retiring
this tired series of films for once. Rob G. wrote an article earlier
this year on “Sequel
or Remake”. How about neither, for a few years
at least. Myers is pretty much about ready to collect Social Security.
I mean, this guys’s been shot, stabbed in the neck, stabbed
in the eye, hit with a bazooka, run over, burned alive, sat in
a coma. He’s going to have one hell of an arthritis problem
and killing teenagers and stealing their wallet is not going to
pay those prescription drug bills, Mr. Myers.
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It’s
time that Michael Myers hung up the jumpsuit, took off the mask and retired
to the Home For Retired Movie Monsters. Give him a room next to Dracula,
let him take arts and crafts with The Creature, play pinochle with Norman
Bates and let this franchise go. -Mike C.
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